"Mashko, I was ready to recognize in thee cleverness, but I did not
know thee to have enthusiasm."
"What's to be done? I was in love with her, but now I am going to marry
Panna Kraslavski."
Mashko pronounced the last words, as if in anger, then followed a
moment of silence.
"Then thou wilt not be my groomsman?"
"Give me time to consider."
"In three days I am going away."
"To what place?"
"To St. Petersburg. I have business there; I will stay about two weeks."
"I will give my answer on thy return."
"Very well; to-day I will send thee the estimate of my oak in three
sizes. To save the instalment!"
"And the conditions on which I will buy it."
Here Mashko took leave and went out. Pan Stanislav hastened to his
office. After a conversation with Bigiel, he decided, if the affair
should seem practicable and profitable, to buy the oak alone. He could
not account to himself why he felt a certain wonderful desire to be
connected with Kremen. After business hours he thought also of what
Mashko had said of Panna Plavitski. He felt that the man had told the
truth, and that, with a woman of this kind, life might be not only safe
and peaceful, but full of charm; he noticed, however, that in those
meditations he rendered justice rather to the type of which Marynia was
a specimen, than to Marynia in person. He observed also in himself a
thousand inconsistencies; he saw that he felt a certain repugnance, and
even anger, at the thought of loving any one or anything, or letting
his heart go into bonds and knots, usually fastened so firmly that they
were painful. At the very thought of this he was enraged, and repeated
in spirit, "I will not; I have had enough of this! It is an unwholesome
exuberance, which leads people only to errors and suffering." At the
same time he took it ill,--for example, that she did not love him
with a certain exuberant and absolute love, and opened her heart to
him only when duty commanded. Afterward, when he did not want love,
he was astonished that it began to pall on him so easily, and that he
desired Marynia far more when she was opposed, than now, when she was
altogether inclined to him.
"All leads to this at last," thought he: "that man himself does not
know what he wants, or what he must hold to; that is his position.
May a thunderbolt split it! Panna Plavitski has more good qualities
than she herself suspects. She is dutiful, just, calm, attractive; my
thoughts draw me toward her; and still I feel that Panna Plavitski
is not for me what she once was, and that the devils have taken
something that was in me. But what is it? As to the capacity for
loving," continued Pan Stanislav, in his monologue, "I have come to the
conclusion that loving is most frequently folly, and loving too much
folly at all times; hence I should now be content, but I am not."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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