Vaskovski read the letter, and said when he had finished, "I have
always liked this Bukatski; he is a good soul, but--he has a little
something here!" Vaskovski began, to tap his forehead with his fingers.
"This is beginning to amuse me," exclaimed Pan Stanislav. "Imagine to
thyself, Professor, for a certain number of days some one taps himself
on the forehead and says of some one of our acquaintance, 'He has
something here!' A charming society!"
"If it is a little so, it is a little so!" answered Vaskovski, with a
smile. "And knowest thou what this is? It is the usual Aryan trouble
of soul; and in us, as Slavs, there is more of that than in the west,
for we are the youngest Aryans, and therefore neither reason nor
heart have settled yet into a balance. We are the youngest Aryans: we
feel with more vividness; we take everything to heart more feverishly;
and we arrange ourselves to the practice of life with more passion. I
have seen much; I have noticed this for a long time. What wonderful
natures! Just look, for example, the German students can carouse,--that
doesn't hinder them from either working or fashioning themselves into
practical people; but let a Slav take this habit, and he is lost, he
will do himself to death! And so with everything. A German will become
a pessimist and write volumes on this,--that life is despair; but he
will drink beer meanwhile, rear children, make money, cultivate his
garden, and sleep under a feather tick. A Slav will hang himself,
or ruin himself with mad life, with excess, smother himself in a
swamp into which he will wade purposely. My dear, I remember men who
Byronized themselves to death. I have seen much; I have seen men who,
for example, took a fancy to peasants, and ended with drinking vodka
in peasant dramshops. There is no measure with us, and there cannot
be, for in us, to the excessive acceptance of every idea, are joined
frivolousness and knowest what vanity. O my God, how vain we are! how
we wish to push ourselves forward always, so that we may be admired
and gazed at! Take this Bukatski: he has sunk in scepticism up to his
ears in fact; in pessimism, Buddhism, decadency, and in what else
besides--do I know?--and in these too there is a chaos at present.
He has sunk so deeply that those miasmas are really poisoning him;
but dost thou think that with this he is not posing? What wonderful
natures! those who are most sincere, who have the most vivid feelings,
taking all things to heart most powerfully,--are at the same time
comedians. When a man thinks of this, he loves them, but he wants to
laugh and to weep."
Pan Stanislav recalled how during his first visit to Kremen he had told
Marynia of his Belgian times, when, living with some young Belgians,
occupying himself with pessimism, he noticed finally that he took all
these theories far more to heart than the Belgians, and that, through
this, these theories spoiled his life more. Hence he said now,--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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