He was even filled more than once with pride, on comparing himself
with such a man, for instance, as Ploshovski, whose history had been
circling from mouth to mouth in society, before people had begun to
learn it from his diary. "But I am of different metal," thought Pan
Stanislav, with a certain satisfaction. At moments, again, when he
recalled Ploshovski's figure, his noble, delicate, and also firmly
defined profile, his refinement, subtlety, and mental suppleness, his
rare gift of winning people, especially women, it occurred to him that
he, Polanyetski, is a less refined type, less noble, and, in general, a
man cut from ruder materials. But to this he answered that evidently,
in the face of conditions in life and the resistance required by it,
too much refinement is simply fatal to mind as well as body. In himself
he saw also far more ability for living. "Finally," said he, "I can be
of some service, while he would have been good only on social shelves
with curiosities. I am able to win bread; he was able only to make
pellets out of bread when baked. I know how, and I know well how, to
color cotton; he only knew how to color women's cheeks. But what a
difference between us with reference to women! That man over-analyzed
his life and the life of the woman whom he loved; he destroyed her and
himself by not being able to escape from the doubt whether he loved
her sufficiently. I, too, have doubts whether my love is perfect; but
I take my little woman, and should be an imbecile, not a man, to fear
the future, and fail to squeeze from it in simple fashion what good and
happiness it will let me squeeze."
Here Pan Stanislav, though he had forsworn analysis, began to analyze,
not himself, it is true, but Marynia. He permitted this, however, only
because he foresaw certainly favorable conclusions; he understood that,
in calculating the future of two people, good-will on one side is not
sufficient, and becomes nothing, if good-will fails on the other.
But he was convinced that in taking Marynia he was not taking a dead
heart. Marynia had brought to the world not only an honest nature, but
from years of childhood she had been in contact with work and with
conditions in which she was forced to forget herself, so as to think
of others. Besides, there was above her the memory of a mother, a kind
of endless blessing from beyond the grave,--a mother whose calmness,
candor, and uprightness, whose life, full of trials, were remembered
to the present with the utmost respect, throughout the whole region
of Kremen. Pan Stanislav knew this, and was persuaded that, building
on the heart and character of Marynia, he was building on a foundation
well-nigh immovable. More than once he recalled the words of a woman,
an acquaintance and friend of his mother's, who, when some one asked
her whether she was more anxious about the future of her sons than her
daughters, answered, "I think only of my sons; for my daughters, in the
worst case, can be only unhappy."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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