her value increased in his eyes. His self-love was wounded; but, on
the other hand, his will, in reality strong, was ready to rush to the
struggle with difficulties, and crush them. All these thoughts were
circling chaotically in his head, or, instead of thoughts, they were
rather feelings torn and tearing themselves. He repeated a hundred
times to himself that he would drop the whole matter, that he must
and wished to do so; and at the same time he was so weak and small
that somewhere in the most secret corner of his soul he was counting
that very moment on the arrival of Pani Emilia, and on the aid which
her arrival would bring him. Sunk in this mental struggle, he did not
recollect himself till he was halfway on the Zyazd, when he asked, "Why
the misery have I gone to Praga?" He halted. The day was fine and was
inclining toward evening. Lower down, the Vistula was flowing in the
gleam of the sun; and beyond it and beyond the nearer clumps of green,
a broad country was visible, covered on the horizon with a rosy and
blue haze. Far away, beyond that haze, was Kremen, which Marynia had
loved and which she had lost. Pan Stanislav, fixing his eyes on the
haze, said to himself,--
"I am curious to know what she would have done had I given Kremen to
her."
He could not imagine that to himself definitely; but he thought
that the loss of that land was for her a great bitterness really,
and he regretted it. In this sorrow his anger began to scatter and
vanish as mist. His conscience whispered that he had received what he
earned. Returning, he said to himself, "But I am thinking of all this
continually."
And really he was. Never had he experienced, in the most important
money questions, even half the disquiet, never had he been absorbed so
deeply. And again he remembered what Vaskovski had said of himself,
that his nature, like Pan Stanislav's, could not fix its whole power
on the acquisition of money. Never had he felt with such clearness
that there might be questions more important than those of wealth, and
simply more positive. For the second time a certain astonishment seized
him.
It was nearly nine when he went to Bigiel's. Bigiel was sitting in a
spacious, empty house with doors opening on the garden veranda; he was
playing on a violoncello in such fashion that everything through the
house was quivering. When he saw Pan Stanislav he broke off a certain
tremolo and inquired,--
"Hast thou been at the Plavitskis' to-day?"
"Yes."
"How was the young lady?"
"Like a decanter of chilled water. On such a hot day that is agreeable.
They are polite people, however."
"I foresaw this."
"Play on."
Bigiel began to play "Träumerei," and while playing closed his eyes,
or turned them to the moon. In the stillness the music seemed to fill
with sweetness the house, the garden, and the night itself. When he had
finished, he was silent for a time, and then said,--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account