Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 1800-1837 -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Political fiction
The gravity of the speaker’s tone presented a new idea to Mary’s mind.
“She is not happy?” she said slowly.
“No.”
With that word Lady Lansdowne looked over her shoulder; conscience
makes cowards, and her nervousness communicated itself to Mary. A
possibility, at which the girl had never glanced, presented itself, and
so abruptly that all the colour left her face. “She is not here?” she
said.
“Yes, she is here. And—don’t be frightened, my dear!” Lady Lansdowne
continued earnestly. “But listen to me! A moment ago I thought of
throwing you in her way without your knowledge. But, since I have seen
you, I have your welfare at heart, as well as hers. And I must, I ought
to tell you, that I do not think your father would wish you to see her.
I think that you should know this; and that you should decide for
yourself—whether you will see her. Indeed, you must decide for
yourself,” she repeated, her eyes fixed anxiously on the girl’s face.
“I cannot take the responsibility.”
“She is unhappy?” Mary asked, looking most unhappy herself.
“She is unhappy, and she is ill.”
“I ought to go to her? You think so? Please—your ladyship, will you
advise me?”
Lady Lansdowne hesitated. “I cannot,” she said.
“But—there is no reason,” Mary asked faintly, “why I should not go to
her?”
“There is no reason. I honestly believe,” Lady Lansdowne repeated
solemnly, “that there is no reason—except your father’s wish. It is for
you to say how far that, which should weigh with you in all other
things, shall weigh with you in this.”
Suddenly a burning colour dyed Mary’s face. “I will go to her,” she
cried impulsively. She had been weak once, she had been weak! And how
she had suffered for that weakness! But she would be strong now. “Where
is she, if you please?” she continued bravely. “Can I see her at once?”
“She is in the path leading to the kennels. You know it? No, you need
not take leave of me, child! Go, and,” Lady Lansdowne added with
feeling, “God forgive me if I have done wrong in sending you!”
“You have not done wrong!” Mary cried, an unwonted spirit in her tone.
And, without taking other leave, she turned and went—though her limbs
trembled under her. She was going to her mother! To her mother! Oh,
strange, oh, impossible thought!
Yet, engrossing as was that thought, it could not quite oust fear of
her father and of his anger. And the blush soon died; so that the
whiteness of her cheeks when she reached the Kennel Path was a poor set
off for the ribbons that decked her muslin robe. What she expected,
what she wished or feared or hoped she could never remember. What she
saw, that which awaited her, was a woman, ill, and plainly clad, with
only the remains of beauty in her wasted features; but withal cynical
and hard-eyed, and very, very far from the mother of her day-dreams.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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