"'There is more than one; my husband must have brought company, that
is what has kept him so long at the depot.' And I took Willie by the
hand and opened the door. Four gentlemen stood on the steps, but my
husband was not among them. I staggered back, and should have fallen
but for the kindly care of one.
"'Tell me all; I can bear it; my husband is dead.'
"I did not need the words, I knew it. But when they told me of the
accident, the terrible collision, the fearful death of so many, and my
husband among the number, I felt the good slipping away from me. My
grief was too bitter, my eyes were dry, and my brain like bursting.
Why should God take one and not the other? And I clasped my child to
my heart; and if I ever prayed earnestly it was that we might both go.
"'We thought it would be a comfort to you to see your husband; the
body will soon be here.'
"And the humane man began making preparations to receive it. All the
while I sat mechanically clasping my child tightly and passionately,
asking to be taken out of a life so wretched as mine would be without
his presence.
"The door opened, and a litter borne by four men was placed in the
middle of the room. Gently they arranged everything, and with the
delicacy of those who know what sorrow is, left me alone with my dead.
"There lay my husband dressed just as when he left Chicago--his face
calm and serene, while the blood still oozed from a wound in the
temple, and his breast was mangled and bleeding; still I could not
make it real, while Willie begged so hard for 'pa to wake up.' Poor
child! he could not realize his misery; he did not know what it was to
be fatherless.
"Days passed. They put my dead from me. How was I to live without him?
Alas! had I read the lesson rightly I should perhaps have been spared
another. Hardly three months had passed when scarlet fever broke out
in the village, and Willie sickened and died.
"My cup was full; the waves of bitterness rolled over me; I was ready
to curse God who had dealt so severely with me; and no words can
describe the darkness, like the shadow of death, that settled over my
soul. I neither wept nor prayed. I thought of God only as an enemy
whose hand was relentlessly against me, and every power of my body and
mind seemed locked up by a stony despair. I followed my baby to the
grave, but it was as one who neither saw nor heard. I went back to my
lonely home and brooded silently over my hard fate.
[Illustration: He Is Not Here; He Is Risen]
"The autumn days hung their beauty all around me, but I had no eye to
see, no ear to catch the joyfulness floating around me. Christmas
came, a bright, beautiful winter morning, and I stood by the window
watching passers-by. There were no friends, no Christmas cheer for me.
Why was my fate so pitiless? As I stood by the window, my heart making
bitter responses to every peal of the bell, our clergyman passed, a
kind, benevolent-hearted man; he bowed kindly, and then entered.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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