During the last hour Cook and John have held a _soiree_ below, to all the neighbouring domestics, who are awaiting to escort home their little masters and mistresses--they are regaling upon ale and sandwiches, in the servants' hall; whilst that most interesting topic, "every body's business," is being discussed:--Mrs. Pest's maid assuring all, upon her sacred word and honour, that Mrs. Pest is not a angel, or the "Pest-house" a paradise, though it may look pretty over the garden-wall; and, moreover, Mrs. P.'s maid said she were of opinion the public knowed it, too; for t'other night some one painted out the fust letters, ag'in our door-post--making the direction, at the corner of the lane, "Placid Vale," read "_acid ale_" instead,--no compliment, as the maid said, to Mr. "Pest, Pewter, and Co.'s Entire;"--at the same time observing, that it sarved 'em right! And, "as I hope, afore next Heaster, to lose my blessed Virgin Mary name, I'd go--if it wer'n't for the pale-ale-tory circumstances, I'd warn Missus! It was only yesterday, jist arter Mr. Pest had gone to Brewhus, in Liquorish St., that we had a scrimmage about flounces; and jist as I was a-going to fling my resignation at her--'tending to go out every evenin', till the month was up, in a gound zactly like Missus' own (lilock, with seven flounces)--well, jist when I was on the pint o' naming the word, I think'd o' little Ned Pest; and, as I loved the dear little fellow more than a paltry frock, I con'scended to stay!" Here the gardening-groom at the "Snuggery," opposite, grinned and winked horribly, observing something about little Ned's being a "surfeit of finery"--finery that had to be shown and aired,--airing begetting the society of aubun viskers and hofficer X, 50!--_officers_, making Mr. "Snuggery" chuckle amazingly, and grin more--observing hofficers to be all the "kick" now!--At the same time, jerking his thumb in the direction of the party-wall and the Albert, saying, he knew the Captain,--met _Boultoff_ at Bath, where he stayed last season, until the waters were too hot, when he "dried up" (we suppose by drying up, the "Snuggery" meant departed). No one appeared to notice the different name applied to the Captain--or, if they did, said nothing,--except Cook, who observed--her master and the Capting to be as thick as soup!--That she thought the former green and soft, as over-done spinach, for the Capting cut it very fat at master's 'spense;--the guvenor ought to save his bacon afore he be done to rags;--if missus ud come in for all the grizzle, she (cook) said she would not stew and fry herself about it. [Illustration: "THE HYPOCRIPPLE! YOU DON'T SAY SO." "YES, I PREDIGATE HIM TO BE AN HUMBUG."]