American fiction -- 19th century; Christmas stories, American
“Even though it be to give you up, you whom I love better than my
life—for whom I would die so willingly. Oh, Anna!” and he sank on his
knees beside her, and winding his arms around her waist, looked her
imploringly in the face. “I sometimes fear that you have sickened of
me—that you shrink from my caresses. If it is so, in mercy tell me now,
before it is too late; for, Anna, dear as you are to me, I would rather
to-morrow’s sunshine should fall upon your grave and mine, than take you
to my bosom an unloving wife! I have worked for you, early and late,
thinking only how you might be pleased. There is not a niche or corner
in my home that is not hallowed by thoughts of you whom I have loved
since you were a little child and I carried you in the arms which now
would be your resting place forever. I know I am not your equal, I feel
it painfully, but I can learn with you as my teacher, and, my precious
Anna, whatever I may lack in polish, I _will_, I _will_ make up in
kindness!”
He was pleading now for her love, forgetting that she was his promised
wife—forgetting everything, save that to his words of passionate appeal
there came no answering response in the expression of her face. Only the
same fixed, stony look, which almost maddened him; it was so unlike what
he deserved and had reason to expect.
“I shall be lonely without you, Anna—more lonely than you can guess, for
there is no mother here now to bless and cheer me as she would have
cheered me in my great sorrow. She loved you, Anna, and blessed you with
her dying breath, saying she was glad, for your sake, that the chair
where you sit would be empty when you came, and asking God to deal by
you even as you dealt by me.”
“Oh, Adam, Adam!” Anna gasped, for what had been meant for a blessing
rang in her ears like that blind woman’s curse. “May God deal better by
me than I meant to deal by you!” she tried to say, but the words died on
her lips, and she could only lay her cold hands on the shoulder of him
who still knelt before her, with his arms around her waist.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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