_Doct._ All diseases, both within and without, Especially the itch, ...., palsy, and the gout; Come in, you ugly, nasty, dirty...., Whose age is threescore years or more, Whose nose and face stands all awry, I’ll make her very fitting to pass by. I’ll give a coward a heart, if he be willing, Will make him stand without fear of killing. And any man that’s got a scolding spouse, That wearies him with living in his house, I’ll ease him of his complaint, and make her civil, Or else will send her headlong to the devil. Ribs, legs, or arms, when any’s broke, I’m sure I presently of them will make a cure; Nay, more than this by far, I will maintain, If you should break your neck, I’ll cur’t again. So here’s a doctor rare, who travels much at home, Here take my pills, I cure all ills, past, present, and to come: I in my time many thousands have directed, And likewise have as many more dissected. To cure the love-sick maid, like me there’s none, For with two of my pills the job I’ve done; I take her home, and rubs her o’er and o’er, Then if she dies ne’er believe me more. To cure your son, good sir, I do fear not, With this small bottle, which by me I’ve got. The balsam is the best which it contains, Rise up, my good Prince _George_, and fight again. [_Exeunt._ ACT II.—SCENE II. Prince George _arises_.—Prince George _speaks_. O, horrible! terrible! the like was never seen— A man drove out of seven senses into fifteen; And out of fifteen into fourscore! O, horrible! terrible! the like was ne’er before. _Alex._ Thou silly ass, that lives by grass, dost thou abuse a stranger. I live in hopes to buy new ropes, and tie thy nose to the manger. _Pr. Geo._ Sir, unto you I bend. _Alex._ Stand off, thou slave, I think thee not my friend. _Pr. Geo._ A slave, sir! that is for me by far too base a name, That word deserves to stab thy honour’s fame. _Alex._ To be stab’d, sir, is the least of all my care, Appoint your time and place, I’ll meet you there. _Pr. Geo._ I’ll cross the water at the hour of five. _Alex._ I’ll meet you there, sir, if I be alive. _Pr. Geo._ But stop, sir,—I’d wish you to a wife, both lusty and young, She can talk both _Dutch_, _French_, and the _Italian_ tongue. _Alex._ I’ll have none such. _Pr. Geo._ Why, don’t you love your learning? _Alex._ Yes, I love my learning as I do my life, I love a learned scholar, but not a learned wife, Stand off, had I as many hussians, shusians, chairs, and stools, As you have had sweethearts, boys, girls, and fools; I love a woman, and a woman loves me, And when I want a fool I’ll send for thee.