He lay with clenched hands and rigid face, and great beads of
perspiration stood on his forehead, for that passive indifference
towards what had become a matter of life and death to him was the
fruit of a victory that had to be won again and again each time his
perilous position was assailed by the appearance of Peter Masters.
His very existence had become so bound up in the life of the boy he
had taken as his own that the smallest fraying of the cord which bound
them together was a thought of new pain. The passionate, fiercely
jealous nature that had lain dormant so long had gathered strength
from silence and clamoured with imperious insistence on its right, to
love, to whole allegiance, to undisputed sway over Christopher.
What right could this man, Christopher's father though he were, in the
flesh, show beside his, Aymer Aston's? Every instinct rose in
indignant rebellion against the fiat of his own conscience.
For before his deep love was awake to confuse his judgment he had
declared that if he might only be permitted to bring Elizabeth
Masters's son through the perilous passage of boyhood, he would never
stand between Christopher and what, after all, was his right due, and
in the eyes of the world, his wonderful fortune. Elizabeth of the
brave heart and uncompromising creed had thought otherwise of this
fortune, as did Charles Aston and Aymer himself. The first had
imperilled her beloved child's bodily welfare to save him from what
she thought an evil thing, and the Astons, father and son, had bid
defiance to their hitherto straightforward policy and followed
expediency instead of open dealing, but there Aymer stopped.
The decision he had made must be adhered to at all costs. It mattered
nothing he had not been in a position to count the cost ten years ago.
He at least could not discount his own word. If Fate drew Christopher
to the side of his unknown father, Aymer must put out no hand to
intervene.
But the cost of it--the cost!--He put his shaking hands over his face,
trying to consider the position reasonably.
Even if Peter Masters learnt the truth and claimed
Christopher, Christopher was of age and must act for himself, and
Aymer could not doubt his action. His misery lay in no suspicion of
Christopher's loyal love, but in his own unconquerable, wildly jealous
desire to stand alone in the post of honour, of true fatherhood to the
son of the woman he had loved to such disastrous end. And behind that
lay the bitter, unquenchable resentment that, pretend as he would,
Christopher was not his son, not even of unknown parentage, but in
actual fact the son of the man who had unknowingly robbed him of love,
and whom he had all his life alternately hated and despised.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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