"It was the beauty of grace rather than feature...." He was stung with
intolerable shame for the manhood he must share with one who had
wrought such havoc in the woman he was most bound to protect from
herself, as well as from the world. The risks and chances of those
early days flickered before him. He had been abandoned to such for
some vague ultimate good to the colossal idea of fortune which neither
he nor its late possessor could spend. Was he more bound to take it
and its cares to himself than its author was bound to care for his own
flesh and blood? Anger clouded his reason and he knew it. Yet if he
could not think coherently on the matter, of what use were the three
days of grace he had claimed? He could not endure company at present,
and the four walls of his room were as a prison. At last he sent a
hasty message to the motor house, tossed a few necessaries into a bag
and wrote a note to Caesar. "Dear Caesar, I've got to make up my mind
about this and I must do it alone, so to come to some decision I'm
going off in the car. I'll be back when I've got the thing straight in
my mind. Tell St. Michael and Nevil about it, but if you can help it
don't let anyone else know.--Christopher Aston."
He drove slowly down the drive, out into the highroad and, turning
westward, sped away into the misty distance.
A great stillness fell on Aymer when Christopher left him. He had
lived so long under the shadowy fear of the thing that had now
happened, that it was hard to credit the fear had passed in
fulfilment. He had been forced back to face the past, and, behold, the
terror of it was gone. He could only measure the full value of the
effort he had made by the languor and listlessness that now wrapped
him round, as a child who had overtaxed his strength and must needs
rest. A hazy doubt crept into his mind as to what it was he had so
dreaded--the resuscitation of the past, or Christopher's reception of
it. In either case the fear had faded as some phantom form that melted
in daylight.
He stumbled on one thought with vague wonder. No barrier had been
raised between him and his adopted son: instead he found the only
barrier had been erected by his own lack of strength to face that
truth until the inexorable hand of God forced him to the issue.
As to the future he recognised that might be left to Christopher,
whose whole life, since Aymer took him, had been a preparation for
this situation. His long struggle to keep a grip on life was ebbing
fast, it was good to leave decisions in another's hands, to rest, and
accept.
When Mr. Aston returned Caesar gave him Christopher's note with a brief
remark.
"Saunderson has been."
The note, short as it was, told the rest. Mr. Aston looked anxiously
at his son, but Aymer met his eyes with a quiet smile.
"I'm glad you were away, St. Michael. You've had enough to contend
with, and there was no need. There is nothing for either of us to do.
It's Christopher's affair."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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