‘Don’t you think, my dear, if there’s nothing atwixt you, as it was a
flyin’ in the face of Providence to turn him off? You were reglarly
engaged to him, and I have heard you say he was very fond of you. I
suppose there were some high words about something, and a kind of a
quarrel like, and so you parted, but that’s nothing. It might all be
made up now, and it ought to be made up. What was it about?’
‘There was no quarrel.’
‘Well, of course, if you don’t like to say anything more to me, I won’t
ask you. I don’t want to hear any secrets as I shouldn’t hear. I speak
only because I can’t abear to see you here when I believe as everything
might be put right, and you might have a house of your own, and a good
husband, and be happy for the rest of your days. It isn’t too late for
that now. I know what I know, and as how he’d marry you at once.’
‘Oh, my dear Mrs Caffyn, I have no secret from you, who have been so good
to me: I can only say I could not love him—not as I ought.’
‘If you can’t love a man, that’s to say if you can’t _abear_ him, it’s
wrong to have him, but if there’s a child that does make a difference,
for one has to think of the child and of being respectable. There’s
something in being respectable; although, for that matter, I’ve see’d
respectable people at Great Oakhurst as were ten times worse than those
as aren’t. Still, a-speaking for myself, I’d put up with a goodish bit
to marry the man whose child wor mine.’
‘For myself I could, but it wouldn’t be just to him.’
‘I don’t see what you mean.’
‘I mean that I could sacrifice myself if I believed it to be my duty, but
I should wrong him cruelly if I were to accept him and did not love him
with all my heart.’
‘My dear, you take my word for it, he isn’t so particklar as you are. A
man isn’t so particklar as a woman. He goes about his work, and has all
sorts of things in his head, and if a woman makes him comfortable when he
comes home, he’s all right. I won’t say as one woman is much the same as
another to a man—leastways to all men—but still they are _not_
particklar. Maybe, though, it isn’t quite the same with gentlefolk like
yourself,—but there’s that blessed baby a-cryin’.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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