"Then I must die, and leave my only child possessed with a murderer’s
spirit!"
The depth of her last agony, and which I believed would cling to her
even in heaven, was more than I could bear. I knelt on the floor and
put my hand to her side. Her worn out heart was throbbing again, with
the pang of her disappointment.
"Mother," I cried, "I will promise you this. When I have discovered, as
I must do, that man who has made you a widow and me an orphan, if I find
any plea whatever to lessen his crime, or penitence to atone for it, as
I hope to see my father and mother in heaven, I will try to spare and
forgive him. Can you wish me to rest in ignorance, and forget that
deed?"
"Clara," she answered weakly, and she spoke more slowly and feebly every
time, "you have promised me all I can hope for. How you loved your
father! Me too you have loved I cannot say how much. For my sake, you
have borne poverty, trouble, and illness, without a complaining word.
By day, and by night, through my countless wants, and long fretfulness."
I put my finger upon her pale lips. How could she tell such a story
then? Her tears came now and then, and would not be stopped, as she
laid her weak hand on my head.
"May the God of the fatherless and the poor, who knows and comforts the
widow’s grief, the God who is taking me now to His bosom, bless with all
blessings of earth and heaven, and restore to me this my child."
A sudden happiness fell upon her, as if she had seen her prayer’s
acceptance. She let her arms fall round me, and laid my cheek by the
side of her bright flowing smile. It was the last conscious stir of the
mind; all the rest seemed the flush of the soul. In the window the
night-scented heath was blooming; outside it, the jessamine crossed in a
milky way of white stars, and the lush honeysuckle had flung down her
lap in clusters. The fragrance of flowers lay heavy upon us, and we were
sore weary with the burden of sorrow and joy. So tranquil and kind was
the face of death, that sleep, his half-brother, still held his hand.
The voice of the thrush, from the corner laurel, broke the holy
stillness. Like dreams of home that break our slumbers, his melody was
its own excuse. My mother awoke, and said faintly, with no gleam in her
eyes:
"Raise me upon the pillow, my love, that I may hear him once more. He
sings like one your father and I used to listen to every evening, in the
days when we watched your cradle."
I lifted her gently. The voice of nature made way for her passing
spirit.
"Now kiss me, my child; once more, my own loved child, my heart is with
you for ever. Light of my eyes, you are growing dim."
She clasped her hands in prayer, with one of mine between them. My
other was round her neck.
Then she spoke slowly, and with a waning voice; but firmly, as if it had
been her marriage-response.
"Thou art my guide, and my staff. I have no fear, neither shadow of
trembling. Make no long tarrying, oh my God!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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