"Yes, my dear child, the close of my wasted and weary life. You may be
surprised and perplexed at what I am about to tell you; but you are not
one of those low-minded ones, who condemn as superstition all beyond
their philosophy. The very night after you brought me my new Lily, a
sweet thing just like her mother, I lay for some hours awake, broad
awake as I am now. I was thinking of my two Lilies, the lovely and
loving creatures. I was not in the least excited, but calm, reflective,
and happy. Soon after the clock struck two, at the time when our life
burns lowest, I heard a soft voice, sweet as the music of heaven, call
me by name three times. Of course I knew whose it was: too often that
voice had murmured upon my bosom, for me not to know it now. Not
rashly, but with a mind long since resolved, I answered: ’Sweetest
mine’--her own artless and young endearment--’Sweetest mine, no longer
will I keep you lonely.’ No answer came in words; but the light, the
golden light of my own love’s smile, as I had seen it in Corsica, when
she came from the grave to comfort me. And now, as after that visit, I
fell into deep and perfect rest, such rest as comes but rarely until the
sleep of all. No wonder you and Lily thought me so strong next day. In
the morning I knew and rejoiced in my quick departure. This cold
obstruction was to be cast aside, this palsied frame to release the
winged soul. On the third day I was to find and dwell with my Lily for
ever. So on the first day I enjoyed the harmless pleasures of life, and
could not bear you to leave me, because that would have turned them to
pain. The second day I got through all the business that still
remained, refreshing its dryness often with my sweet child’s society.
On this, the third, I write to you, and am, through the grace of God, as
calm and content, nay more content than if I were going to bed.
"Beloved daughters both, and my dear son as well, I implore you not to
grieve painfully for me. Too well I know the weight of excessive
sorrow, and how it oppresses the lost one, even more than the loser.
Since the parting is so brief, the reunion so eternal, why make the
interval long and dreary by counting every footstep?
Alas, it is easy to talk and think so, but very hard to feel it. Time
demands his walk with sorrow, and will not have his arm dispensed with.
Then think of my happiness, darlings, and how your own will increase it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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