French fiction -- Translations into English; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
"Laurence," I murmured, in a gentle voice, "speak to me, love me. Why
are you so cruel? What have I done that your lips and your heart
maintain silence. Be frank; make me suffer all my sufferings in an hour,
or cast yourself into my arms and let us live happily. Tell me all, give
full scope to your thoughts and your affections. If you do not love me,
strike a deadly blow, crush me and depart. If you love me, remain,
remain, but remain upon my heart, close, close, and speak to me, speak
to me constantly, for I am filled with fear when I see you mute and sad
for entire days, staring at me with your dead eyes. I feel madness
coming to me in this desert amid which you are dragging me; I grow dizzy
as I lean over you, so full of deep obscurity, of silent horror. No, I
cannot live another day in ignorance of your love or your indifference;
I wish you to explain yourself at once, I wish you, at last, to make
yourself known. My mind is weary of searching; it is filled with sad
solutions which it has formed of the problem of your being. If you do
not desire my heart and my head to burst, name yourself, tell me what
you are, assure me that you are not dead, that you still have blood
sufficient to love or to hate me. I am reckless. Listen: we will set out
to-morrow for Provence. Do you remember the tall trees of Fontenay? In
Provence, beneath the glowing sun, the trees are prouder, stronger. We
will live a life of love on that ardent soil, which will restore you
your youth and give you a dark, passionate beauty. You shall see. I
know, in a ravine sown with fine grass, a small, retired house, all
green on one side with ivy and honeysuckles; there is a hedge, as tall
as a child, which hides the ten leagues of the valley, and one sees only
the blue curtains of the sky and the green carpet of the path. It is in
this ravine, this nest, that we will love each other; it shall be our
universe, and we will forget there the life we have led in the gloomy
depths of this miserable chamber. The past shall be obliterated; the
present alone, with its broad sunlight, its fruitful nature, its strong
and gentle loves, shall exist for our hearts. Oh! Laurence, in pity
speak to me, love me, tell me that you wish to follow me!"
She remained sitting up in bed, tranquilly wiping her eyes heavy with
sleep, straightening out her hair, stretching her limbs. She yawned. My
words seemed to produce upon her only the effect of disagreeable music.
I had uttered the last sentences with so many tears, with such
desperation, that she ceased to yawn and stared at me with an air at
once vexed and friendly. She heaped the covers upon her bare feet; then,
she crossed her hands and said:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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