"And the mair they cried and waved, the mair Alick looked aboot him for
the man that was late for the train.
"'It maun be the provost at the least, wi' a' this fuss,' said he to
himself; 'he'll be gaun to Loch Skerrow to fish!'
"At last a wee upsettin' booking-clerk, the size o' twa scrubbers,
cam rinning and telled Alick a' aboot the drovers and the state the
station-maister was in.
"'I'm no on duty at this train,' says Alick, 'but I'll come and speak
to them.'
"So they made way for him, and Alick gaed through the crowd at the
platform like a liner through the herring-fleet below the Tail o' the
Bank.
"'Lads,' says he to the drovers, 'what's this?—what's this?'
"Then they mocked and jeered at him. For it so happened that nane o'
them had been often at Netherby Market, and so no a man o' them was
acquaint wi' Muckle Alick. Providence was no kind to the Paddies that
time whatever.
"'Boys,' says Alick, as canny as if he had been courtin' his lass,
'this wull never do ava', boys. It's no nice conduck! It's clean
ridiculous, ye ken. Ye'll hae to come oot o' that, boys!'
"But they were fair demented wi' drink and pridefulness at keepin' the
train waitin', and so they miscaa'ed Alick for a muckle nowt-beast on
stilts. And yin o' them let on to be an auctioneer, and set Alick up
for sale.
"'Hoo muckle for this great lumbering Galloway stirk?' says he.
"'Thrip!' says another, 'and dear at the money.'
"'Boys,' says Alick again, like a mither soothin' her weans when she
hears the guidman's fit, 'boys, ye'll hae to come oot!'
"But they only swore the waur at him.
"'Aweel,' says Alick, 'mind I hae warned ye, boys——'
"And he made for the carriage-door in the face o' a yell like a'
Donnybrook broken lowse. Then what happened after that it is no' juist
easy to tell. Alick gaed oot o' sicht into the compartment, fillin' the
door frae tap to bottom. There was a wee bit buzzing like a bee-skep
when a wasp gets in. Then presently oot o' the door o' the first-class
carriage there comes a hand like the hand o' Providence, and draps a
kickin' drover on the platform, sprawlin' on his wame like a paddock.
Then, afore he can gather himsel' thegither, oot flees anither and
faa's richt across him—and so on till there was a decent pile o'
Irish drovers, a' neatly stacked cross-and-across like sawn wood in a
joiner's yaird. Certes, it was bonny to see them! They were a' cairded
through yin anither, and a' crawling and grippin' and fechtin' like
crabs in a basket. It was a heartsome sicht!
"Then, after the hindermost was drappit featly on the riggin', oot
steps Muckle Alick—edgeways, of course, for the door wasna wide
aneuch for him except on the angle. He was, if onything, mair calm
and collected than usual. Muckle Alick wasna angry. He juist clicked
his square key in the lock o' the door and stood lookin' doon at the
crawlin' pile o' drovers. Folk says he gied a bit smile, but I didna
see him.
"'Ye see, boys, ye had to come oot!' said Muckle Alick."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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