"Tell you what to do for him! I know a fellow in Smith's Valley will cure him in a minute. That fellow has cleaned the deafness all out of Washington County a dozen times. I never knew a case of it that could stand up against him ten seconds. Take three parts of snake-root to a gallon of waggon-grease, and--I'll go and see if I can find the prescription!" And Sam was off like a rocket. * * * * * MAUD'S PAPA. That is she in the old black silk--the one with the gimlet curls and the accelerated lap-cat. Doesn't she average about as I set her forth? "Never told you anything about her?" Well, I will. Twenty years ago, many a young man, of otherwise good character, would have ameliorated his condition for that girl; and would have thought himself overpaid if she had restored a fosy on his sepulchre. Maud would have been of the same opinion--and wouldn't have construed the fosy. And she was the most sagacious girl I ever experienced! As you shall hear. I was her lover, and she was mine. We loved ourselves to detraction. Maud lived a mile from any other house--except one brick barn. Not even a watch-dog about the place--except her father. This pompous old weakling hated me boisterously; he said I was dedicated to hard drink, and when in that condition was perfectly incompatible. I did not like him, too. One evening I called on Maud, and was surprised to meet her at the gate, with a shawl drawn over her head, and apparently in great combustion. She told me, hastily, the old man was ill of a fever, and had nearly derided her by going crazy. This was all a lie; something had gone wrong with the old party's eyes--amanuensis of the equinox, or something; he couldn't see well, but he was no more crazy than I was sober. "I was sitting quietly by him," said Maud, "when he sat up in bed and be-_gan!_ You never in all your born life! I'm so glad you've come; you can take care of him while I fetch the doctor. He's quiet enough now, but you just wait till he gets another paralogism. When _they_'re on--oh my! You mustn't let him talk, nor get out of bed; doctor says it would prolong the diagnosis. Go right in, now. Oh dear! whatever shall I ought to do?" And, blowing her eyes on the corner of her shawl, Maud shot away like a comic. I walked hurriedly into the house, and entered the old man's dromedary, without knocking. The playful girl had left that room a moment before, with every appearance of being frightened. She had told the old one there was a robber in the house, and the venerable invalid was a howling coward--I tell you this because I scorn to deceive you.