England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- England -- Fiction
While yet the last ominous and deceitful reply which Dr. Rowel had made
to James Woodruff rung in his ear, as a sound incredible and impossible
to have been heard, he threw himself on the loose straw which covered an
iron bedstead that stood in a corner of his cell, and writhed in bodily
and in mental agony, both from what he had just endured, and from the
stinging reflections that, having once had his oppressor in his power,
he should have so spared him, so confided in his promises, and been so
treacherously deceived!
The consciousness of his own magnanimity, and implicit faith in his
brother-in-law's solemn word and oath, aggravated the bitterness of
these reflections, until the despair within him became worse to endure
than all the horrors without. All hope of freedom had now finally
departed. He had made the last and greatest sacrifice in his power to
obtain it, and it had only been cast back in his face as worthless,
because it would be considered as the act of a madman. He had implored,
promised, threatened,--nay, he had put his very life in peril,--and all
for what? for nothing. What more remained to do?--To wait the
doubtful result of chance for an unforeseen and apparently impossible
deliverance,--to waste away the last pulsations of a worse than
worthless life in the protracted misery of that dungeon,--or to take
heart in this extremity to do a deed that should at once shut the gates
of hope and of fear in this world upon him for ever? Would it not be
better to beat out his brains against the wall, and throw himself,
uncalled, before his God, his wretchedness standing in extenuation of
his crime, than thus to do and to suffer by hours, days, nights, and
years, with no change that marked to-day from yesterday, or this year
from the year that went before, nor any chance of change to distinguish
the years to come from those that had already passed? In the same
monotonous round of darkness passed in that cell, of pacing some few
steps to his day-yard, of turnings and returnings within that limited
space, and then of pacing back to pass hours of darkness in his cell
again,--time seemed to stand still, or only to return at daylight, and
work over again the same well-known revolution that it wrought when
daylight last appeared.
Looking back beyond these dreary seventeen years, what had his mind to
rest upon? Sorrow for his wife's premature death; solicitude, painful
and unfathomably deep, for the babe she had left to his sole care; his
struggle onwards solely on account of the little helpless thing that
had no friend but him; and then the sudden, the unexpected, and horrible
injustice of an avaricious brother-in-law, which had overwhelmed him as
with an avalanche, deprived him of all he possessed, shut him up in a
place of horrors, and, worst of all, put away that child, motherless and
fatherless, to endure perhaps all that the lowest poverty endures, or to
sink under it when she could endure no longer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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