England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- England -- Fiction
“A Yorkshireman in London.--Yesterday a stupid-looking 'son of the soil'
from Yorkshire, whose legs appeared to have been tied across a barrel
during the previous part of his life, and who gave his name Samuel
Palethorpe, was brought before their worships, charged by policeman
G. 95, with having been found dead drunk in Blackman Street, Borough,
between one and two o'clock that morning. When found he was sitting
bolt-upright in a pool of lime-water about twelve inches deep, which
had been made in the gutter by some bricklayer's labourers employed
in mixing mortar near the spot. His hat was crushed into the form of
a pancake, and was floating beside him; while he was calling in a
stentorian voice for assistance. From the very deplorable statement he
made, with tears in his eyes, it appeared that, after rambling about
town the greater part of the previous day, in search of the 'lions'
of London, during which time he had imbibed an immense quantity of
heavy-wet, he repaired to a well-known house in the neighbourhood of
the Haymarket, and regaled himself until midnight with wine and cigars.
While there he picked up an acquaintance in the person of a 'lady,' (as
he described her,) 'with a plum-coloured silk gown on, and one of the
handsomest shawls he ever saw in his life.' As the 'lady' was very
communicative, and was very polite, and told him that she wished to
marry, he naturally concluded she might entertain no very deeply-rooted,
objection to himself. In order, therefore, to make a beginning in his
courtship, he eventually consented to accompany her home. He believed
her to be what she appeared, 'a lady,' and was over-persuaded by the
hope of marrying a good fortune. One of the magistrates here expressed
his astonishment that any man arrived at the age of the prisoner, (he
appeared nearly forty-five,) even though brought up in the veriest wild
in England, could possibly be such a fool as the individual before him
represented himself. Mr. Palethorpe replied that he had several times
read of ladies falling in love with cavaliers, and he thought such a
thing might happen to him as well as to anybody else. (Laughter.)
“'And what happened afterwards?' asked the magistrate.
“Mr. Palethorpe.--'I don't know very well, for I'd a sup too much. I
ar'n't used to drink sich strong wine: but we went over a bridge, I
think, becos I remember seeing some lights dance about; but where we
went to I know no more than this man here' (pointing to the policeman).
“'How much money did you spend?'
“'Whoy, unfortinately, I 've lost every farthing I had.'
“'And how much had you about your person when you set out?'
“'Please, sir, I had seven pounds in goold, and about twelve shillin's
in shillin's, besides some ha'pence.'
“'Do you think you've been robbed, or did you spend it on the lady?'
“'I don't know, sir,--but it's all gone.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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