England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- England -- Fiction
For the fourth time he found Miss Harriet's appearance changed; though
this fourth appearance seemed the most true one. She was yet young, and
had been handsome; just as a primrose cropped a week since, and dangling
its head over the side of a jar has been handsome, but is so no longer.
Her cheeks were slightly--very slightly painted; for custom is
custom still, even by the coffin side. Her countenance was naturally
intelligent, and had been improved in expression by indulgence in the
love of literature. The proportions of her figure were comely enough,
and such as would not have matched ill beside even so well-formed an one
as was Colin's.
“I am afraid you will think me very bold, Mr. Clink,” observed Miss
Wintlebury, after the first forms of their meeting had been gone
through; “but I wished to thank you personally for your exceeding
kindness towards one who is a mere stranger to you. I feel it the more
because, unfortunately for me, I have so rarely met with anything of
the kind. I think my poor mother--and she has been gone these many
years--was the only creature that ever loved me in this world!”
Here her voice grew tremulous, and her utterance half convulsive.
“I do not scruple to say so much now, because in the condition in
which I am--I know I am--I am dying, and that is all about it;--in
that condition, I say, no scruples prevent me uttering what otherwise I
should be ashamed to own, because, with my feet almost in the grave,
I feel secure against any imputations which else the world might bring
against me. But, having almost done with the world, and feeling under no
apprehension that anybody will look upon me in any other light than as a
departing guest about to close the door upon her own back for ever, I am
not ashamed to speak as a woman openly: for openly I must shortly speak
before a far greater Being than any here.”
Colin sat, with his eyes fixed on the ground, mute and
motionless,--striving to divert his feelings by counting the pattern
flowers on the carpet; but he could scarcely see them, his eyes
were full. With difficulty he swallowed his grief as Miss Wintlebury
continued, “To-night, now, I am unable to go through the exertion of
pleasing those drunkards yonder, as usual. Nor is this the first warning
I have had that the poor concert of my life is close upon its finale.”
Accustomed as the young woman appeared to be to contemplate her own
death within the little oratory of her own bosom, she yet displayed
that feminine weakness of being unable to allude to it in words before
another person without shedding tears.
“I hope, Miss,” began Colin, but he could not get on,--“I hope,
ma'am------”
“It is not for myself!” she exclaimed resolutely, and as though
determined to outface those tears,--“no, not for myself. That is very
little worth crying for, indeed.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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