Colonel Quaritch, V.C.: A Tale of Country LifeHaggard, H. Rider (Henry Rider)
General
Colonel Quaritch, V.C.: A Tale of Country Life
Haggard, H. Rider (Henry Rider)
Country life -- Fiction; Pastoral fiction
“Do you wonder why I ask you this?” she said. “I will tell you, though
probably when I have done so you will never speak to me again. I am
Edward Cossey’s discarded mistress,” and she laughed bitterly enough.
Ida shrank a little and coloured, as a pure and high-minded woman
naturally does when she is for the first time suddenly brought into
actual contact with impurity and passion.
“I know,” went on Belle, “that I must seem a shameful thing to you;
but, Miss de la Molle, good and cold and stately as you are, pray God
that you may never be thrown into temptation; pray God that you may
never be married almost by force to a man whom you hate, and then
suddenly learn what a thing it is to fall in love, and for the first
time feel your life awake.”
“Hush,” said Ida gently, “what right have I to judge you?”
“I loved him,” went on Belle, “I loved him passionately, and for a
while it was as though heaven had opened its gates, for he used to care
for me a little, and I think he would have taken me away and married me
afterwards, but I would not hear of it, because I knew that it would
ruin him. He offered to, once, and I refused, and within three hours of
that I believe he was bargaining for you. Well, and then it was the old
story, he fell more and more in love with you and of course I had no
hold upon him.”
“Yes,” said Ida, moving impatiently, “but why do you tell me all this?
It is very painful and I had rather not hear it.”
“Why do I tell you? I tell you because I do not wish you to marry
Edward Cossey. I tell you because I wish _him_ to feel a little of what
_I_ have to feel, and because I have said that he should _not_ marry
you.”
“I wish that you could prevent it,” said Ida, with a sudden outburst.
“I am sure you are quite welcome to Mr. Cossey so far as I am
concerned, for I detest him, and I cannot imagine how any woman could
ever have done otherwise.”
“Thank you,” said Belle; “but I have done with Mr. Cossey, and I think
I hate him too. I know that I did hate him when I met him in the street
just now and he told me that he was not engaged to you. You say that
you detest him, why then do you marry him—you are a free woman?”
“Do you want to know?” said Ida, wheeling round and looking her visitor
full in the face. “I am going to marry him for the same reason that you
say caused you to marry—because I _must_. I am going to marry him
because he lent us money on condition that I promised to marry him, and
as I have taken the money, I must give him his price, even if it breaks
my heart. You think that you are wretched; how do you know that I am
not fifty times as wretched? Your lot is to lose your lover, mine is to
have one forced upon me and endure him all my life. The worst of your
pain is over, all mine is to come.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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