World War, 1914-1918 -- Personal narratives, English
I spent the evening with a member of the National Liberal Club, an
intimate family friend, whose intellectual arrogance was one of the evil
memories of my childhood, when many eager impulses and aspirations had
been turned to bitterness by his lofty depreciation and his
imperturbable assumption of superiority based on maturer years and
experience. Having at different times received material kindnesses at
his hands, I knew I could not tell him what I really thought, and the
prospect of meeting him filled me with uneasiness. Moreover, in his
presence I felt a kind of pride which I did not usually feel in the
presence of others--a pride that forbade me to express any sentiment or
to reveal my inner mind. And yet my inner mind was clamouring
intolerably for revelation. I realized the advantage he would derive
from his simple attitude and from his lack of mental integrity, which
enabled him to ignore any considerations that did not conform to his
preconceived notions, and I realized the disadvantage of my complex
attitude, made up as it was of so many conflicting impulses, at war with
each other and with the world around me.
My fears were justified.
At first the conversation was commonplace, and I related various
experiences in a desultory fashion. Those that were mildly amusing were
most appreciated. But gradually we drifted towards more vital issues and
then the long and futile argument began. The weapons of sarcasm and
denunciation were denied to me by the laws of politeness and etiquette.
I beat in vain against the solid walls of obstinate prejudice and
superficiality. His statements were uttered with dogmatic emphasis. They
expressed beliefs held with all the self-assurance born of ignorance.
They were based on no independent reasoning or observation, but had been
assimilated either directly from the daily Press or from a circle of
acquaintances whose entire political outlook was the creation of the
Press. It was only then that I realized the immense power of newspapers.
For most people "thinking" is just the discovery of convenient phrases
or labels, such as "pessimist," or "socialist," or "pacifist" or
"Bolshevik." When any puzzling mental attitude comes before their
notice, they pin one of their labels to it, and, having labelled it,
they think they understand it. The Press supplies them with these
labels, and, consciously or unconsciously, they store them up in their
minds and always have a few ready for immediate use.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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