“Ah, merci, non! My private parties are my private parties. I ask my friends, I ask the people I like. Nothing could induce me to ask that horrid little underbred mongrel creature. He’d be—he’d be like—like something unclean—something murky and contaminating—in the room. He’d be like an animal, an ape, a satyr.” “Well, my dear,” the King submitted meekly, “I only hope we’ll never have cause to repent your exclusion of him. I know he bears us a grudge for it, and he’s not a person whose grudges are to be made light of.” “Bah! I’m not afraid of him,” Anéli retorted. “I know he hates me. I see it every time he looks at me, with his snaky little eyes, his forced little smile—that awful, complacent, ingratiating smirk of his, that shows his teeth, and isn’t even skin deep; a mere film spread over his face, like pomatum! Oh, I know he hates me. But it’s the nature of mean, false little beasts like him to hate their betters; so it can’t be helped. For the rest, he may do his worst. I’m not afraid,” she concluded airily. Not only would she take no steps to propitiate M. Tsargradev, but she was constantly urging her husband to dismiss him. “I’m perfectly certain he has all sorts of dreadful secret vices. I haven’t the least doubt he’s murdered people. I’m sure he steals. I’m sure he has a secret understanding with Berlin, and accepts bribes to manage the affairs of Monterosso as Prince Bismarck wishes. That’s why we’re more or less in disgrace with our natural allies, Russia and France. Because Tsargradev is paid to pursue, an anti-Russian, a German, policy. If you would take my advice, you’d dismiss him, and have him put in prison. Then you could explain to the Soviete that he is a murderer, a thief, a traitor, and a monster of secret immorality, and appoint a decent person in his place.” Her husband laughed with great amusement. “You don’t appear quite yet to have mastered the principles of constitutional government, my dear. I could no more dismiss Tsargradev than you could dismiss the Pope of Rome.” “Are you or are you not the King of Monterosso?” “I’m Vice-King, perhaps. You’re the King, you know. But that has nothing to do with it. Tsargradev is leader of the Soviete. The Soviete pays the bills, and its leader governs. The King’s a mere fifth wheel. Some day they’ll abolish him. Meanwhile they tolerate him, on the understanding that he’s not to interfere.”