American fiction -- 19th century; Short stories, American
He had taken her hand, and was clinging to it, pressing it, hard, so
hard that it must have hurt her, in the violence of his emotion.
“Oh, wait, Will, wait,” she said, trying to draw her hand away; and
her eyes filled with sudden tears.
He let go her hand, and looked into her tearful eyes, helpless,
speechless, longing to speak, unable, in the confusion of his thoughts
and feelings, to find a word.
“I must tell you something, Will. Come with me somewhere—where we
can be alone. I must tell you something.”
She moved off, away from the house, he keeping beside her. They passed
out of the garden, into the deep shade of the park.
“Do you remember,” she began, all at once, “do you remember what
I said yesterday, about my motto? That my motto was ’Be bold, be bold,
and everywhere be bold’.”
“Yes,” he said.
“I am going to be very bold indeed now, Will. I am going to tell you
something—something that will make you hate me perhaps—that will
make you despise me perhaps,” she faltered.
“You could not possibly tell me anything that could make me hate you
or despise you. But you must not tell me anything at all, unless it is
something you are perfectly sure you will be happier for having told
me,” he said.
“It is something I wish to tell you, something I must tell you,”
said she. Then after a little pause, “Oh, how shall I begin it?” But
before he could have spoken, “Do you think that a woman—do you
think that a girl, when she is very young, when she is very immature and
impressionable, and very impulsive, and ignorant, and when she is alone
in the world, without a father or mother—do you think that if she
makes some terrible mistake, if she is terribly deceived, if somebody
whom she believes to be good and noble and unhappy and misunderstood,
somebody whom she—whom she loves—do you think that if she makes some
terrible mistake—if she—if she—oh, my God!—if——-” She held
her breath for a second, then suddenly, “Can’t you understand what
I mean?” she broke down in a sort of wail, and hid her face in her
hands, and sobbed.
Will stood beside her, holding his arms out towards her. “Johannah!
Johannah!” was all he could say.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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