FANNY. I'm sorry to say they're a false, fickle, perfidious _lot!_ They gain a poor confiding woman's heart only to trifle with it and trample on it! Poor dear mamma! I am no longer surprised at your little fits of temper--at your discontent with everything and everybody--now that I know the sad circumstances which blighted your youth and cast a gloom over your after-life! (_with affected pathos_). DOCTOR (_aside_). What do I hear? (_Aloud, and anxiously._) Has your mother, then, revealed? FANNY. No; but she might just as well, because I was sure to find it out. DOCTOR. Find out _what?_ FANNY. A lot of things! Ah, doctor! if you had only heard her sigh as I have! DOCTOR. Sigh? FANNY. Yes; but that's not all. Poor mamma! You'd hardly believe the number of pearly drops I've seen fall from her poor eyes into her teacup. DOCTOR. Pearly drops? FANNY. But _that's_ not all! (_In a very mysterious manner._) I once heard her, when she little thought I was listening, say, in faltering accents, "Ah! if he had really loved me, would he not have declared his passion when I became a widow?" DOCTOR. Did she? (_Aside._) She loves me still! Dear Cleopatra! FANNY. Who can she mean? I should so like to know. Perhaps, doctor, you'll help me to find out; but here she comes (_looking towards C. DOCTOR gives a violent start_). Why, what's the matter? DOCTOR. Nothing; only a sort of a kind of a--of a--I scarcely know whether I am standing on my head or my heels! FANNY. On your head, of course! DOCTOR. I thought so. MRS. P. (_heard without_). Joseph! Joseph! DOCTOR (_aside_). I can't meet her yet. The agitation--the trepidation--the perturbation--the-- FANNY. Perhaps you'd better retire, doctor, (_aside_) or else he'll be flopping down on his knees to mamma before I've prepared her for the shock! _Enter MRS. PELICAN at R. H., followed by JOSEPH._ MRS. P. Joseph, inform your master that I shall dine in my own apartment. [_JOSEPH bows and goes out R. H. DOCTOR meets MRS. PELICAN as she comes down--looks tenderly at her--clasps his hands, and gives a deep sigh; then hurries up--stops again at C.--turns--gives her another tender look--another deep sigh, and hurries out at C._ MRS. P. (_watching DOCTOR in astonishment_). Why, what's the matter with the man? FANNY (_aside_). It's _your_ turn now, mamma! You wanted to get a husband for _me;_ so as one good turn deserves another, I'll see if I can't find one for _you!_ MRS. P. (_aside_). I must find out who this "girlish fancy" of hers is. (_Aloud._) Come here, Fanny. Of course _your_ happiness is all I desire! FANNY. And it's all _I_ desire too, mamma! MRS. P. Then have confidence in your mother--your _only_ mother! Tell me the name of the young man who has won your affections.