Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century; Farces
MRS. P. But I'll forget them, I'll renounce them, I'll cast them off,
I'll abandon them to their unhappy fate; and when you're comfortably
married, dear, I'll come and live with _you_ (_throwing her arms round
FANNY, who tries to speak_). No thanks, I see you are literally
bursting with gratitude; but I am rewarded already! I feel it
here--here! (_striking her breast, then flings her arms round FANNY
again, and hurries out at R. H._).
FANNY. Mercy on us! here's a pretty piece of business! Live with me
when I am married! Poor Augustus! he little suspects what a rod there
is in pickle for him! It's all Jeremiah's fault, and it's poor little
I who am punished.
DOCTOR (_without_). In the parlor, is she? Very well!
FANNY. Surely that's dear Doctor Prettywell's voice!
_Enter DOCTOR at C._
DOCTOR. Ah! my dear young friend, delighted to see you!
FANNY. Not more than I am to see you, doctor!
DOCTOR. But let me look at you. How we're grown! I declare we're quite
a young woman!
FANNY. Yes, doctor.
DOCTOR. And a very pretty one, too!
FANNY. Yes, doctor.
DOCTOR (_looking intently at FANNY_). She's the very image of her
mother as she _was_ thirty years ago; the same soft blue eyes, before
she took to spectacles, the same fairy form, before it filled out, the
same alabaster brow, before the wrinkles set in!
FANNY (_aside_). How earnestly he looks at me! I hope I hain't
fascinated _him_ as well as Sir Marmaduke! (_Suddenly._) Goodness me!
what if _he_ should be the "youthful doctor" mamma was speaking about?
(_DOCTOR looks at her again and gives a loud sigh._) What a sigh! It
must be he. He may still have some lingering affection for her; the
flame may not be _quite_ burnt out; there may be a tiny spark left
which a little gentle _blowing_ may rekindle into a blaze. It isn't
very likely; still, I may as well try what a little "blowing" may do.
DOCTOR. Well, now that your education is completed, and you've come
home brimful of accomplishments, of course you'll go into society,
and, like other young ladies, pick up a husband?
FANNY (_with affected indifference_). A husband? Not I, indeed! I've
never even thought of such a thing! (_Aside._) I had no idea I could
fib so well! (_Aloud._) No, doctor! I've too much regard for my own
tranquillity, my own peace of mind!
DOCTOR. Hoity-toity! Who's been putting such nonsense into your head?
FANNY. Why, you yourself never ventured on matrimony!
DOCTOR. No! because I--I-- Heigh-ho! (_giving a loud sigh_).
FANNY (_aside, and smiling_). The "tiny spark" is gradually getting
into a blaze! I did quite right in trying the effect of a little
"_blowing!_" (_Aloud._) Besides, I have come to the conclusion, from
considerable personal experience, that the male sex in general--I
mean, taken in a _lump_--is no better than it should be.
DOCTOR (_laughing_). Indeed!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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