Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century; Farces
GENTLEMAN (_nettled, and imitating her--aside_). "Were you speaking to
me?" I rather think I _was_ speaking to her! Holloa! she's off to
sleep again! No one can call _her_ particularly wide-awake. Well,
since she's off into land of dreams again, I don't see why I shouldn't
indulge in a cigarette (_takes out some cigarette papers, tobacco
pouch, spreads them on his knees and proceeds to make a cigarette;
then stops_). Stop, though! I can't smoke without first asking her
permission; of course not! (_Aloud, and coughing._) Ahem! (_Watching
her._) Sound as a top! Try again! (_Coughing louder._) Ahem! (_The
LADY opens her eyes and moves impatiently--aside._) That did it!
GENTLEMAN (_apologetically_). My cough is rather troublesome, ma'am.
LADY. I find it so--very!
GENTLEMAN (_aside_). Well! that's about the rudest thing I've heard
for some time! (_Aloud._) I was about to ask you whether you object to
the smell of tobacco?
LADY. Oh, not at all, sir!
GENTLEMAN. Thank you! (_proceeds to make his cigarette, and about to
light it_).
LADY. I mean, not till it's lighted!
GENTLEMAN. Oh, I see; and then you do?
LADY. Very much, indeed!
GENTLEMAN. Even when you are asleep? (_in an insinuating tone_).
LADY (_slowly and decisively_). Whether I am awake _or_ asleep, sir!
GENTLEMAN (_aside_). Now that's what I call selfish--just as if the
smoke _could_ get up her nose when her eyes are shut! (_putting away
his smoking apparatus. Aside_). I must say I _have_ met more agreeable
young ladies--_very much_ more agreeable--in fact, I may say I never
remember meeting one _less_ agreeable. Well, I sha'n't disturb the
"Sleeping Beauty" again in a hurry. Now for another nap! (_sulkily
crams smoking apparatus into his pocket, draws his cap very much over
his head, stands up, folds himself up in his rug, and then flounces
down on his seat again, partially turning his back to the LADY_).
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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