SIR F. By an elopement!! A _pretended_ one, of course, which you shall propose to my wife, and _he_ shall overhear! ARTH. _I_ propose an elopement to Lady Fritterly? She'll be indignant! SIR F. How do you know that? She may feel flattered! At any rate I'll take all the responsibility!--you may be as fascinating as you choose! Ha! ha! ARTH. But, man alive, I'm not in the habit of running away with other people's wives! I shouldn't know how to begin. Something in this style?--"Please, ma'am, will you run away with me?" SIR F. Not half tender enough! (_Clasping his hands and with exaggerated passion._) "Loveliest of women"--then down on your knee--it don't matter which--both if you like. Then exclaim, "My bosom's torn with conflicting emotions"--"my brain is in a whirlwind of agony and despair"--tearing your hair out by handfuls all the time. Don't forget _that!_ ARTH. Stop! Don't be in such a confounded hurry! Let me see! "Loveliest of women," one! (_counting on his fingers_)--"conflicting emotions," two!--"agony," three!--"despair," four! Can't you make it five--one for each finger? SIR F. Five--the elopement!--_there_ you must come out a little stronger--(_declaiming in exaggerated tone_)--"Let us fly, loved one!--horses are in readiness to bear us to the nearest station, where the flashing express shall whirl us to--to--" anywhere you like--Madagascar--Seringapatam--Pegwell Bay--no matter! ARTH. Oh! that's the style, is it? By Jove, I've half a mind to chance it! But when is this precious scheme of yours to come off? SIR F. At once! As soon as I can secure the presence of my wife, and old Cosey as a listener!--he always takes a nap on this couch when the coast is clear--(_turns the couch round with back to the audience_). There!--now, you take a stroll in the grounds--I'll hide behind the window-curtains and give you the signal to come in. Be off! (_pushing him up stage_). ARTH. Wait a minute--(_counting on his fingers_)--"Loveliest of women," "conflicting emotions," "agony," "paggony"--no, not "paggony," "despair." Let me see, what's the little finger? SIR F. The elopement! ARTH. All right! [_Exit at C. towards R., counting his fingers._