FLOR. And if he pops to _me,_ he'll have to settle the matter with Captain Taunton, ha! ha! ha! _Here CAPTAIN TAUNTON'S head appears above the wall at R._ TAUNT. Good-morning, ladies! Will you open the door or shall I storm the fortress? (_HETTY runs and opens door R.; TAUNTON enters_). Now, ladies, may I ask the cause of all this merriment, and whether there is any objection to my sharing in the joke? FLOR. None at all, Harry; it simply means that Hetty is likely to become "Mrs. Samuel Skruff" _vice_ "Edward Mallingford," cashiered. HETTY. Don't be quite so positive, because it isn't _quite_ decided yet whether it will not be "Samuel Skruff" _vice_ "Henry Taunton." He's a tailor, and a capital hand at cutting out. TAUNT. A very bad joke that (_they all laugh_); but of course you can't be serious? HETTY. That will entirely depend, most gallant captain, on whether you are prepared to resign your pretensions! Your rival is a regular fire-eater, I can assure you. TAUNT. And consequently one who would stand any amount of--kicking, eh? FLOR. Ha! ha! But don't you think it's high time we dropped the tailor? TAUNT. Certainly! HETTY. Carried _nem. con._--"of Samuel Skruff we've had enough." FLOR. But tell me, Harry, have you arranged for the payment of the thousand pounds? TAUNT. Yes! and upon the most favorable terms. FLOR. Then, not a single word to uncle on the subject until we give you permission. Remember that! HETTY. Well, I must run away. You'll have some little compassion on poor Mr. Skruff, won't you, Florence? ha! ha! ha! [_Exit laughing into house L. H._ TAUNT. Now, perhaps you'll enlighten me! Who the deuce is Skruff? Explain this Skruff. FLOR. All I know of the interesting object of your inquiry is that he is the son of an old friend of my uncle's; that the object of his visit here is to make a conquest, on the shortest possible notice, either of Hetty or your humble servant! TAUNT. (_savagely_). Let Skruff beware how he poaches on my manor! GRITTY (_heard without_). Now then, Florry, Hetty, where the deuce are you? FLOR. There's uncle calling; come along, Harry, I know how anxious you must be to make Mr. Skruff's acquaintance--ha! ha! [_Exeunt FLORENCE and TAUNTON at back R._ _Enter SKRUFF hurriedly at back from L._ SKRUFF. Confound old Gritty! Wouldn't let me go till he'd dragged me through several acres of lettuces and spring onions; consequently the girls have vanished and I've lost my chance. Wish to goodness I knew which of the two was to have the money (_bell rings_). SKRUFF (_opening gate R. and seeing SPRONKS'S boy with basket on his arm_). The youthful Spronks again. Come in! SPRONKS (_entering, then giving the basket to SKRUFF_). Them's the taters and them's the ignuns! SKRUFF. Of course; do you suppose I don't know a tater from an ignun? (_Aside._) I'll see if I can't pump a little information out of Spronks! (_Aloud._) Been long in the neighborhood, Spronks?