American wit and humor; Caricatures and cartoons -- United States; United States -- History -- Humor
On the 30th of July, eight thousand pounds of powder were carefully
inserted under a Confederate fort and the entire thing hoisted in the
air, leaving a huge hole, in which, a few hours afterwards, many a boy
in blue met his death, for in the assault which followed the explosion
the Union soldiers were mowed down by the concentrated fire of the
Confederates. The Federals threw away four thousand lives here.
On the 18th of August the Weldon Railroad was captured, which was a
great advantage to Grant, and, though several efforts were made to
recapture it, they were unsuccessful.
[Illustration: PAUSING TO GET LAUNDRY-WORK DONE.]
General Early was delegated to threaten Washington and scare the able
officers of the army who were stopping there at that time talking
politics and abusing Grant. He defeated General Wallace at Monocacy
River, and appeared before Fort Stevens, one of the defences of
Washington, July 11. Had he whooped right along instead of pausing a day
somewhere to get laundry-work done before entering Washington, he would
easily have captured the city.
Reinforcements, however, got there ahead of him, and he had to go back.
He sent a force of cavalry into Pennsylvania, where they captured
Chambersburg and burned it on failure of the town trustees to pay five
hundred thousand dollars ransom.
General Sheridan was placed in charge of the troops here, and defeated
Early at Winchester, riding twenty miles in twenty minutes, as per poem.
At Fisher's Hill he was also victorious. He devastated the Valley of the
Shenandoah to such a degree that a crow passing the entire length of the
valley had to carry his dinner with him.
It was, however, at the battle of Cedar Creek that Sheridan was twenty
miles away, according to historical prose. Why he was twenty miles away,
various and conflicting reasons are given, but on his good horse Rienzi
he arrived in time to turn defeat and rout into victory and hilarity.
Rienzi, after the war, died in eleven States. He was a black horse, with
a saddle-gall and a flashing eye.
He passed away at his home in Chicago at last in poverty while waiting
for a pension applied for on the grounds of founder and lampers brought
on by eating too heartily after the battle and while warm, but in the
line of duty.
The Red River campaign under General Banks was a joint naval and land
expedition, resulting in the capture of Fort de Russy, March 14, after
which, April 8, the troops marching towards Shreveport in very open
order, single file or holding one another's hands and singing "John
Brown's Body," were attacked by General Dick Taylor, and if Washington
had not been so far away and through a hostile country, Bull Run would
have had another rival. But the boys rallied, and next day repulsed the
Confederates, after which they returned to New Orleans, where board was
more reasonable. General Banks obtained quite a relief at this time: he
was relieved of his command.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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