When Mr. Spokesly had left his friend to have one more, he experienced
that comfortable feeling of having left someone behind which is one of
the most tangible and gratifying results of getting on both in the world
and in life. The incident crystallized for him, so to speak, the gaseous
and indefinable emotions which had been passing through his mind since
he had been fished out of the water. Avoiding the callous brutality of
the expressed sentiment, he derived a silent and subtle satisfaction
from the workings of a fate which had singled him out to survive a
ship's company of men as deserving as he, but who were now none the less
out of the running. Mr. McGinnis, who had obligingly died a startling
but convenient death, had merely gone before. He would be waiting, no
doubt, on the Dark Shore, his pink jaws going continually, ready to
navigate them to their long home. Mr. Spokesly had not had a great deal
to do with death heretofore, and he was much struck with the extreme
ease with which one can grow accustomed to the horror of an elderly
shipmaster being ordered about "like a dog," as the saying is. In a way,
he could scarcely refrain from regarding his friend the lieutenant in
the same light as his late shipmates. He was clear enough on this point
now: that the way to success is not through a nursing-home for
grievances. No one who had met Captain Rannie, for example, could regard
a grievance as a worthy or valuable possession. And Mr. Spokesly, to
whom had been denied access to the great founts of wisdom, had to
progress by noting his fellowmen and their reactions upon his own
feelings. He hastened away up Venizelos Street, full of vigour and hope,
as though it lay upon him to achieve something of the work foregone by
those so suddenly finished with life, who were now moving about, a
bewildered and somewhat undisciplined little band of incongruous shades,
lost and forgotten as the colossal armies of the slain went past. And he
became aware, quite suddenly, in the midst of the bright noisy street,
of life being an instinctive, momentary, impersonal affair after all. As
he put it, like a lot of insects, and somebody steps on us, and we're
squashed, and all the others go swarming on over us. And with that
mysteriously heartening notion, Mr. Spokesly had a vividly imagined
glimpse of those same armies marching through the shadows, millions of
them, of all nations, silently moving towards an eternity of passionless
intelligence. It would make no difference then, he thought. All we got
to do, is make the best bargain we can for ourselves. Carry on! Like
insects....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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