Esther looked at him then with some curiosity. She had all the news from
Constantinople, and in the light of that news it seemed incredible to
her that any one should doubt the triumph of the Central Powers. There
would be nowhere else to go, in her opinion, unless one fled to America.
"Home, of course," he had said, and of a sudden had experienced an
almost physical sickness of longing for the humid foggy land in the
Northern Sea, the land of dark green headlands showing chalk-white
below, of hedges like thick black ropes on the landscape, with sunken
roads between, of little towns of gray and black stone with the dark red
roofs and stumpy spires against the sky of clouds like heaps of
comfortable cushions. He had been amazed at her cool suggestion that
they go to Germany, and she had been amazed at him. For she had all the
news from Constantinople, news that told her that the British fleets
were at the bottom of the sea, that the millions in England were
starving, the King fled to America, and that the great Kaiser in his
palace in Berlin was setting out on his triumphal march to London to be
crowned Czar of Europe. And why then should he not go to Germany? That
was what she would do. She looked at him curiously as he said "Home!"
not understanding, of course, the meaning of the word. She had a house,
but the subtle implications of the word home, the word saturated with a
thousand years of local traditions and sympathies, the word that is the
invisible centre of our world, she did not comprehend. For her,
patriotism was a dim and unfamiliar perplexity. She had no abstract
ideas at all. She could not read very well. She personified the things
in her heart. To her they were men as real as her husband and Mr.
Spokesly himself. Husband, house, money, sun, moon, sea, and earth--on
these concrete manifestations of existence she based an uncurious
philosophy. And it must be understood that love was very much the same.
Esther had none of Evanthia's untutored theatricality. She never saw
herself as the Queen of Sheba or the mistress of a King. She had had a
pretty hard life of it in Odessa as a child, and when she was fifteen
she began to divide men into two main classes, the generous and the
stingy. It never entered her head she could live without being dependent
upon men. And then she made a fresh discovery, that generous men were
often foolish and spent their money on women who were monsters of
infidelity. Esther was faithful. Even when she was left with a baby and
no money, when she was under no obligation to treat men with
consideration, she remained one of those who keep their word out of an
allegiance to some obscure instinct for probity. And now she was married
to her Armenian, a serious creature with vague longings after Western
ideas or what he imagined were Western ideas. She was conscious of both
love and happiness as tangible facets of her existence. She had hold of
them, and in her strong capable hands she turned them to good account.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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