"Crying!" Of course I am crying, and I guess you would be crying, too, If people were telling such stories as they tell about me, about YOU. Oh yes, you can laugh if you want to, and smoke as you didn't care how, And get your brains softened like uncle's. Dr. Jones says you're gettin' it now. Why don't you say "Stop!" to Miss Ilsey? She cries twice as much as I do, And she's older and cries just from meanness,--for a ribbon or anything new. Ma says it's her "sensitive nature." Oh my! No, I sha'n't stop my talk! And I don't want no apples nor candy, and I don't want to go take a walk! I know why you're mad! Yes, I do, now! You think that Miss Ilsey likes YOU, And I've heard her REPEATEDLY call you the bold-facest boy that she knew; And she'd "like to know where you learnt manners." Oh yes! Kick the table,--that's right! Spill the ink on my dress, and go then round telling Ma that I look like a fright! What stories? Pretend you don't know that they're saying I broke off the match Twixt old Money-grubber and Mary, by saying she called him "Crosspatch," When the only allusion I made him about sister Mary was, she Cared more for his cash than his temper, and you know, Jack, you said that to me. And it's true! But it's ME, and I'm scolded, and Pa says if I keep on I might By and by get my name in the papers! Who cares? Why, 'twas only last night I was reading how Pa and the sheriff were selling some lots, and it's plain If it's awful to be in the papers, why, Papa would go and complain. You think it ain't true about Ilsey? Well, I guess I know girls, and I say There's nothing I see about Ilsey to show she likes you, anyway! I know what it means when a girl who has called her cat after one boy Goes and changes its name to another's. And she's done it--and I wish you joy! MISS EDITH MAKES ANOTHER FRIEND Oh, you're the girl lives on the corner? Come in--if you want to-- come quick! There's no one but me in the house, and the cook--but she's only a stick. Don't try the front way, but come over the fence--through the window--that's how. Don't mind the big dog--he won't bite you--just see him obey me! there, now! What's your name? Mary Ellen? How funny! Mine's Edith--it's nicer, you see; But yours does for you, for you're plainer, though maybe you're gooder than me; For Jack says I'm sometimes a devil, but Jack, of all folks, needn't talk, For I don't call the seamstress an angel till Ma says the poor thing must "walk."