What had they come to see? Ah me! I fear no glitter of pageantry, Nor sacred zeal For Church's weal, Nor faith in the virgins' bones to heal; Nor childlike trust in frank confession Drew these, who, dyed in deep transgression, Still in each nest On every crest Kept stolen goods in their possession; But only their gout For something new, More rare than the "roast" of a wandering Jew; Or--to be exact-- To see--in fact-- A Christian soul, in the very act Of being damned, secundum artem, By the devil, before a soul could part 'em. For a rumor had flown Throughout Cologne That the church, in fact, was the devil's own; That its architect (Being long "suspect") Had confessed to the Bishop that he had wrecked Not only his OWN soul, but had lost The VERY FIRST CHRISTIAN SOUL that crossed The sacred threshold: and all, in fine, For that very beautiful design Of the wonderful choir They were pleased to admire. And really, he must be allowed to say-- To speak in a purely business way-- That, taking the ruling market prices Of souls and churches, in such a crisis It would be shown-- And his Grace must own-- It was really a BARGAIN for Cologne! Such was the tale That turned cheeks pale With the thought that the enemy might prevail, And the church doors snap With a thunderclap On a Christian soul in that devil's trap. But a wiser few, Who thought that they knew Cologne's Archbishop, replied, "Pooh, pooh! Just watch him and wait, And as sure as fate, You'll find that the Bishop will give checkmate."