And my brother said: I am not so much wiser than Bias, that, since
he refused to be arbitrator between two only of his friends, I should
pretend to be a judge between so many strangers and acquaintance;
especially since it is not a money matter, but about precedence and
dignity, as if I invited my friends not to treat them kindly, but to
abuse them. Menelaus is accounted absurd and passed into a proverb, for
pretending to advise when unasked; and sure he would be more ridiculous
that instead of an entertainer should set up for a judge, when nobody
requests him or submits to his determination which is the best and which
the worst man in the company; for the guests do not come to contend
about precedency, but to feast and be merry. Besides, it is no easy
task to distinguish for some claim respect by reason of their age,
others--from their familiarity and acquaintance; and, as those that make
declamations consisting of comparisons, he must have Aristotle's [Greek
omitted] and Thrasymachus's [Greek omitted] (books that furnish him with
heads of argument) at his fingers' ends; and all this to no good purpose
or profitable effect but to bring vanity from the bar and the theatre
into our feasts and entertainments, and, whilst by good fellowship
endeavor to remit all other passions, especially pride and arrogance,
from which, in my opinion we should be more careful to cleanse our souls
than to wash our feet from dirt, that our conversation be free, simple,
and full of mirth. And while by such meetings we strive to end all
differences that have at any time risen amongst the invited, we should
make them flame anew, and kindle them again by emulation, by thus
humbling some and puffing up others. And if, according as we seat them,
we should drink oftener and discourse more with some than others and
set daintier dishes before them, instead of being friendly we should be
lordly in our feasts. And if in other things we treat them all equally,
why should we not begin at the first part, and bring it into fashion for
all to take their seats promiscuously, without ceremony or pride, and to
let them see, as soon as they enter, that they are invited to a dinner
whose order is free and democratical, and not, as particular chosen men
to the government of a city where aristocracy is the form; since the
richest and the poorest sit promiscuously together.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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