Didactic fiction; Political fiction; Social problems -- Fiction
"I'm through pleading for you, Yetta. Let me plead a little for myself.
What is it that makes me talk to you like this? It's not romance.
Perhaps it isn't what you would call love. But I would call it that.
It's a very desperate desire to forget all about myself and--as Isadore
said--'be good to you.' Get up, darling, and sit here beside me. Let us
talk over again all our plans of work. After all, work is more important
than romance."
She got up rather unsteadily, but she did not sit down beside him.
"I think love is necessary," she said.
"Don't let's wreck things over a word, Yetta. 'Love' means so many
things. Tell me what it is I feel for you. What is it that makes me
thrill so to your kisses? What is it that makes me want you, Yetta, for
all time and always? What is it makes me know I can win to usefulness,
if you will help me? What is it that makes me risk losing what I want
most in the world, for fear I may not be true and just to you? I don't
care what name you give it. But isn't it enough? Let's try to think of
realities, not words."
"No. It's not the word I care about," she said. "But the reality is
necessary. I love you, Walter, and I'm not afraid of the word. You know
what it means to me--all that it ever meant to any woman--and more. It
means thinking only and above everything else of the other--and more
than that. It means giving one's self without any 'ifs'--and more than
that too. I can't tell you what love is--just because the reality is so
much bigger than any words. But of one thing I am sure. There can't be
any regrets in love. Are you sorry it isn't Mabel who loves you? I don't
care about the past any more. I did for a minute this afternoon--because
it surprised me. But I love you too much to care about the past. But,
oh! the future, Walter? We daren't cheapen that! That's all there is
left to us. And our life together--our future--couldn't be fine if you
had regrets. If ever you had to hide things from me and had wishes I
couldn't share. If you wished sometimes I was some one else. It's very
simple, Walter. It's this way. If Mabel should come into this room and
stand here beside me and say, 'I love you,' as I say it--which of us
would you choose?"
"She'll never come into the room, Yetta."
"Oh, Walter! answer me! I know you won't lie. And I'll believe you for
ever and ever."
And so he could not lie. He buried his face once more in his hands. He
did not look up when he heard the rustle of her skirts. He did not see
her as she picked up her hat and stood there, the tears in her eyes,
waiting--hoping that he would say the word.
He did not look up until he heard the door close behind her. He paced
the room aimlessly for several minutes, then filled his pipe and,
turning out the light, went back to the window-seat. He was not exactly
suffering. He felt himself miserably inert and dead.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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