When this fundamental fact is borne in mind, it becomes at once
apparent that marriage will gain in dignity through the abolition
of all legal sanction upon the personal claims that it involves. In
a community which had renounced all claim to prescribe legally the
nature of the marriage-bond, its duration, and the manner of its
observance, there would be no washing of soiled domestic linen in the
squalid publicity of courtrooms and newspaper-columns; no arbitration
of noisy domestic differences by judges whose only qualification for
the office is that they have had enough political influence to get
themselves elected; none of the demoralizing consequences that the
sense of proprietorship in one another has on the dispositions of
married people. Marriage might still be publicly registered; it would
no longer be publicly regulated. Its regulation would be left to the
people whom it concerned, as it properly should be and safely could
be; for as Mill remarked, “the modern conviction, the fruit of a
thousand years experience, is that things in which the individual is
the person directly interested, never go right but as they are left to
his own discretion, and that any regulation of them by authority, save
to protect the rights of others, is sure to be mischievous.” The only
way to protect married people against the bad faith which one may show
toward the other, is to leave the door wide open for either of them
to be quit of the union the minute it ceases to be satisfactory. If
society for any reason sees fit to close the door to freedom, it sets
union by law above the union by affection on which alone true marriage
is based; and in so doing it is responsible for an amount of injustice,
spiritual conflict, and suffering which no attempt at equitable
regulation can ever compensate. Such attempts are in reality mere
efforts to adjust the marriage-relation to the fundamental injustice of
the marriage-law.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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