I had no society--knew nothing of society--saw it at a distance, under suspicious circumstances, and was myself an object of its suspicion. Its attractions were desirable to me, but seemed unattainable. It required some sacrifices to obtain its entrée, and these sacrifices were the very ones which my independence would not allow me to make. My independence was my treasure, duly valued in proportion to the constant strife by which it was assailed. I had that! THAT could not be taken from me. THAT kept me from sinking into the slave the tool, the sycophant, perhaps the brute; THAT prompted me to hard study in secret places; THAT strengthened my heart, when, desolate and striving against necessity, I saw nothing of the smiles of society, and felt nothing of the bounties of life. Then came my final emancipation--my success--my triumph! My independence was assailed no longer. My talents were no longer doubted or denied. My reluctant neighbors sent in their adhesion. My uncle forbore his sneers. Lastly, and now--Julia was mine! My heart's desires were all gratified as completely as my mind's ambition! Was I happy? The inconsiderate mind will suppose this very probable--will say, I should be. But evil seeds that are planted in the young heart grow up with years--not so rapidly or openly as to offend--and grow to be poisonous weeds with maturity. My feelings were too devoted, too concentrative, too all-absorbing, to leave me happy, even when they seemed gratified. The man who has but a single jewel in the world, is very apt to labor under a constant apprehension of its loss. He who knows but one object of attachment--whose heart's devotion turns evermore but to one star of all the countless thousands in the heavens--wo is he, if that star be shrouded from his gaze in the sudden overflow of storms!--still more wo is he, when that star withdraws, or seems to withdraw, its corresponding gaze, or turns it elsewhere upon another worshipper! See you not the danger which threatened me? See you not that, never having been beloved before--never having loved but the one--I loved that one with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength; and required from that one the equal love of heart, soul, strength? See you not that my love--linked with impatient mind, imperious blood, impetuous enthusiasm, and suspicious fear--was a devotion exacting as the grave--searching as fever--as jealous of the thing whose worship it demands as God is said to be of ours?