Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic StorySimms, William Gilmore
General
Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic Story
Simms, William Gilmore
Domestic fiction
Porterfield came with us, and, at such times, our
business was to detect distant glimpses of barge, or steamboat, as they
successively darted into sight, along such of the glittering patches of
the Alabama as were revealed to us in its downward progress through the
woods.
Our evenings were such as hallow and make the luxury of cottage
life--evenings yielded up to cheerfulness, to content and harmony.
Between music, and poetry, and painting, my heart was subdued to the
sweetest refinements of love. Without the immorality, we had the very
atmosphere of a Sybarite indulgence. I was enfeebled by the excess of
sweets; and the happiness which I felt expressed itself in signs. These
denoted my presentiments. My apprehensions were my sole cause of doubt
and sorrow. How could such enjoyments last? Was it possible, with any,
that they should last? Was it possible that they should last with me? I
should have been mad to think it.
But, in the sweet delirium which their possession inspired, I almost
forgot the past. The soul of man is the most elastic thing in nature.
Those harassing tortures of the heart which I had been suffering for
months--those weary days of exhausting doubt--those long nights of
torturing suspicion--the shame and the fear, the sting of jealousy, and
the suffering--I had almost forgotten in the absorbing pleasures of my
new existence. If I remembered them it was only to smile; if I thought
of William Edgerton it was only to pity;--and, as for Julia, deep
was the crimson shadow upon my cheek, whenever the reproachful memory
reminded me of the tortures which I had inflicted upon her gentle heart
while laboring under the tortures of my own--when I thought of the
unmanly espionage which I had maintained over conduct which I now felt
to be irreproachable.
But, just at the moment when I thus thought and felt--when I no longer
suffered and no longer inflicted pain--when my wife was not only virtue
in my sight, but love, and beauty, and grace, and meekness--all that was
good and all that was dear besides;--when my sky was without a cloud,
and the evening star shone through the blue sky upon the green tops of
our cottage trees, with the serene lustre of a May-divinity--just then a
thunderbolt fell upon my dwelling, and blackened the scene for ever.
I had now been three months a resident in M----, and never had I been
more happy--never less apprehensive on the score of my happiness--when
I received a letter from my venerable friend and patron, the father of
William Edgerton.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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