Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic StorySimms, William Gilmore
General
Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic Story
Simms, William Gilmore
Domestic fiction
I do not know how I got through with the business of that day. Even
in my weakness I was possessed of a singular degree of strength. I saw
Kingsley, Wharton, and all of the parties whom we met the day before.
We came to a final decision on the subject of Kingsley's claims; I took
down the heads of several papers which were to be drawn up; the terms
of sale and transfer, bounds and characteristics of the land to be
conveyed; and engaged in the discussion of the various topics which
were involved in these transactions, with as keen a sense of business, I
suspect, as any among them. The habit of suppressing my feelings availed
me sufficiently under the present circumstances. Kingsley said nothing
on the subject of yesterday's adventure, nor was I in the mood to refer
to it. With some effort I was cheerful; spoke freely of indifferent
topics, and pleased myself with the idea of my own firmness, while
persuading my hearers of my good humor and my legal ability. I do not
deny that I paid for these proofs of stoicism. Who does not? There is
no such thing as suppressing passions which are already in action--at
least, there is no such thing as suppressing them long. If the summer
tempest keeps off to-day it will come to-morrow, and its force and
volume is always in due proportion to the delay in its utterance.
The solitudes of the forest heard my groans and agonies when man did
not--and the venom which I kept from my lips, overflowed and poisoned
the very sources of life and happiness within my heart.
I gave the letter to Julia without a word. She did not look at me while
extending the hand to receive it, and hurried to her chamber without
breaking the seal. I watched her departing form with a vague, painful
emotion of inquiry, such as would possess the bosom of one, looking on
a dear object, with whom he felt that a disruption was hourly threatened
of every earthly tie. That day she ate no dinner. Her brow was clouded
throughout the meal. Edgerton was present, seemingly as well as at his
first arrival. I had learned casually from Mrs. Porterfield that he had
been in our little parlor all the morning; while another remark from the
good old lady gave me a new idea of the employment of my wife.
“This writing,” said she, addressing the latter, “does your eyes no
good. Indeed they look as if you had been crying over your task.”
“What writing?” I asked, looking at Julia, She blushed, but said
nothing, and the blush passed off, leaving the sadness more distinct
than ever.
“Oh, she has been writing whole sheets for the last two mornings. I
went in this morning to bring her out to assist me in entertaining
Mr. Edgerton, who looked so lonesome; and I do assure you I thought at
first, from the quantity of writing, that you had given her some of your
law-papers to do. The table was covered with it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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