Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic StorySimms, William Gilmore
General
Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic Story
Simms, William Gilmore
Domestic fiction
“Very good!” and I left him, and joined Kingsley. The business of this
friend being now in a fair train for final adjustment, he was preparing
for his return to Texas. He had not been at my lodgings since Edgerton's
arrival in M--, but we had seen each other, nevertheless, almost
every day at his or at my office. Our afternoon was rather merry than
cheerful. Heaven knows I was in no mood to be a bon compagnon, but I
took sufficient pains that Kingsley should not suspect I had any reasons
for being otherwise. I had my jest--I emptied my bottle--I said my good
things, and seemed to say them without effort. Kingsley, always cheerful
and strong-minded, was in his best vein, and mingling wit and reflection
happily together, maintained the ball of conversation with equal ease
and felicity. He had the happy knack of saying happy things quietly--of
waiting for, and returning the ball, without running after it. At
another time, I should have been content simply to have provoked him.
Now, I was quite too miserable not to seek employment; and to disguise
feelings, which I should have been ashamed to expose, I contrived to
take the lead and almost grew voluble in the frequency of my utterance.
Perhaps, if Kingsley failed in any respect as a philosopher, it was
in forbearing to look with sufficient keenness of observation into
the heart of his neighbor. He evidently did not see into mine. He was
deceived by my manner. He credited all my fun to good faith, and gravely
pronounced me to be a fortunate fellow.
“How?” I demanded with a momentary cessation of the jest. His gravity
and--to me--the strange error in such an observation--excited my
curiosity.
“In your freedom from jealousy.”
“Oh! that, eh? But why should I be jealous?'
“It is not exactly why a man should be jealous--but why, knowing what
men are, usually, that you are not. Nine men in ten would be so under
your circumstances?”
“How, what circumstances?”
“With Edgerton in your house--evidently fond of your wife, you leave
them utterly to themselves. You bring him into your house unnecessarily,
and give him every opportunity. I still think you risk everything
imprudently. You may pay for it.”
I felt a strange sickness at my heart. I felt that the flame was
beginning to boil up within me. The perilous turning-point of
passion--the crisis of strength and endurance--was at hand My eyes
settled gloomily upon the table. I was silent longer than usual. I felt
THAT, and looked up. The keen glance of Kingsley was upon me. It
would not do to suffer him to read my feelings. I replied with some
precipitation:--
“I see, Kingsley, you are not cared of your prejudices against
Edgerton.”
“I am not--I have seen nothing to cure me. But my prejudice against him,
has nothing to do with my opinion of your prudence. Were it any other
man, the case would be the same.”
“Well, but I do not think it so clear that Edgerton loves my wife more
than is natural and proper.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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