I worked very hard the next day for two reasons, first, I did want to
get as much stuff ready for sale as possible, my sense of absolute
honesty having already become considerably blunted by contact with that
temple of fraud in Carey Street; and secondly, because I did not want
to brood over the terrible possibility of my landlord coming in by
deputy and seizing all my poor belongings--for in my simplicity I still
looked upon them as mine, totally oblivious of the fact that, in the
eyes of the law, I now possessed absolutely nothing except necessary
clothing and bedding, tools and cooking utensils. Now and then the
thought would obtrude itself that after all these years of toil and
stress, I had brought, vulgarly speaking, my pigs to a pretty fine
market, but my sense of relief from the misery I had so long endured
outweighed any other consideration, and I was not at all melancholy.
My day's work was a fruitful one, for I managed to knock up quite a
number of little frames for which, if low in price, I was fairly sure
of a ready sale for that reason. And I also put the last touches on
my tidying up, as well as getting ready such small goods as I knew I
should be allowed to retain. I also secured a place of refuge--a house
to move into--from a local house agent, secured it too without the
slightest concealment from him of all my circumstances. But then he was
a good fellow, and never backward in doing a good turn if he could.
Thus at the end of the day I felt ready for the crisis of to-morrow.
Hitherto there had only been verbiage writing and payment of fees;
to-morrow, Mr Hardhat informed me, would see definite action being
taken. But of that I will write in the next chapter.
CHAPTER XVI
THROUGH TO FREEDOM
I suppose that there are few things more demoralising to an
assimilative mind than the association with places of a demoralising
tendency. Which I do not intend as a profound remark, but as the fruit
of actual experience. At any rate I know that when I first entered the
Bankruptcy Court, I felt a profound pity for the listless, hopeless,
slouching-looking figures I saw haunting its purlieus. But when I went
up this morning, for my preliminary examination, I felt as listless,
hopeless, and slouching as any of them--I had enlisted in the great
army of the insolvent, and no matter how void of offence my conscience
might be, in that I had not wilfully or in extravagance defrauded any
man, the taint of debt, the virus of unutterable meanness which makes
the Chinese commit suicide, bowed my head, rounded my shoulders, and
robbed me of my self-respect.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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