Confessions Of Con Cregan, the Irish Gil BlasLever, Charles
General
Confessions Of Con Cregan, the Irish Gil Blas
Lever, Charles
Ireland -- Fiction
Some may make the ungracious remark that she might have spared herself
this task of humanizing; that she could have left these "ligneous
Christians," these creatures of tar and turpentine, where she found
them. The same observation will apply equally to Cooke, to Franklin, to
Brooke of Borneo, and a hundred other civilizers: so Mrs. D. felt
it, and so she labored to make T. J. feel it; but he would n't. The
ungrateful old bear saw the ordinary grow daily thinner; he perceived
that Banquo might have seated himself at any part of the table, and he
actually upbraided his wife with the fact. Every day he announced some
new defection from the list of their old supporters. Now it was old Ben
Crosseley, of the "Lively Biddy," that would n't stand being ordered to
shake out his canvas--that is, to spread his napkin--when he was
taking in sea store; then it was Tom Galket grew indignant at not being
permitted to beat "to quarters" with his knuckles at every pause in the
dinner. Some were put out by being obliged to sit with their legs under
the table, being long habituated to dine at a cask with a plank on it,
and of course keeping their limbs "stowed away" under the seat; and one,
an old and much-respected river pilot, was carried away insensible
from table, on hearing that grog was not a recognized table beverage
throughout the British dominions.
The banishment of lobscouse and sea-pie, pork, with its concomitant
cataplasm of peas, and other similar delicacies from the bill of fare,
completed the defection; and at last none remained of the "once goodlie
company," save an old attenuated Guernsey skipper too much in debt to
leave, but who attributed his fealty to the preference he entertained
for "les usages de la bonne société et la charmante Mde. Davis." T. J.
could never hold up his head again; he moped about the docks and quays,
like the restless spirit of some Ancient Mariner. Every one pitied
him; and he grew so accustomed to condolence--so dependent, in fact,
on commiseration--that he spent his days in rowing from one ship to the
other in the harbor, drinking grog with the skippers, till, by dint of
pure sympathy, he slipped quietly into his grave, after something like a
two years' attack of delirium tremens.
The same week that saw T. J. descend to the tomb saw his widow ascend
to the "Upper Town,"--the more congenial locality for aspirations like
hers. If no eulogistic inscription marked _his_ resting-place, a very
showy brass plate adorned _hers_. From that hour she was emancipated;
it seemed, indeed, as if she had turned a corner in life, and at once
emerged from gloom and darkness into sunshine. It chanced that the
barracks were at that very moment undergoing repair, and several
officers were glad to find, at a convenient distance, the comforts and
accommodations which a plausible advertisement in the "Quebec Messenger"
assured them were to be obtained for one pound one shilling weekly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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