"I am Madam, plain Madam Davis. There, I knew you 'd do it, you nasty little beast, you odious black creature!" This sudden apostrophe was evoked by the nigger endeavoring to balance a jam-pot on his thumb, while he spun it round with the other hand,--an exploit that ended in a smash of the jar, and a squash of the jam all over my silk stockings. "It's of no consequence, my lady; I shall change them when I dress for dinner," said I, with consummate ease. "The jam is lost, however. Will you kindly beat him about the head with that candlestick beside you?" I seized the implement, as if in most choleric mood. But my black was not to be caught so easily; and with a dive between my legs he bolted for the door, whilst I was pitched forward against the step-ladder, head foremost. In my terror, I threw out my hands to save myself, and caught--not the ladder, but Madam Davis's legs; and down we went together, with a small avalanche of brown jars and preserve-pots clattering over us. As I had gone headforemost, my head through the ladder, and as Mrs. Davis had fallen on the top of me,--her head being reversed,--there we lay, like herrings in a barrel, till her swoon had passed away. At last she did rally; and, gathering herself up, sat against the wall, a most rueful picture of bruises and disorder, while I, emerging from between the steps of the ladder, began to examine whether it were marmalade or my brains that I felt coming down my cheek. "You'll never mention this shocking event, Cornelius," said she, trying to adjust her wig, which now faced over the left shoulder. "Never, my lady. Am I to consider myself engaged?" "Yes, on the terms of Captain Pike's note,--ten pounds--, no wine nor tea-money, no passage-fare out, no livery, no--" I was afraid she was going to add, "No prog;" but she grew faint, and merely said, "Bring me a glass of water." "I'll put you in charge of the lamps and plate tomorrow," said she, recovering. "Very well, madam," said I, aloud; while to myself I muttered, "They might easily be in better hands." "You'll wait at table to-day." "Yes, my lady--madam, I mean." "Soup always goes first to Mrs. Trussford,--black velvet, and very fat; then to the lady in blue spectacles; afterwards Miss Moriarty. Ah, I 'm too weak for giving directions; I 'm in what they call 'un état de fuillete;'" and with these words Mrs. Davis retired, leaving me to the contemplation of the battle-field and my own bruises.