Conrad in Quest of His Youth: An Extravagance of TemperamentMerrick, Leonard
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Conrad in Quest of His Youth: An Extravagance of Temperament
Merrick, Leonard
Theater -- Great Britain -- Fiction
And there was no letter on Thursday either, and he sallied to Soho with
delight.
The exterior of the Café Anonyme when he reached it looked to him a
shade less ingenuous than it had been, but upstairs all was well. The
view of the grim houses opposite was screened by lace, firelight
flashed on the Dutch hearth cheerfully, and the little white table, set
for tête-à-tête, invited confidences. He forced his attention upon the
menu, and lounged back into the street. It was a fine day for London.
The sky was funereal, and the pavements were muddy, but there was no
rain falling. He loitered before the restaurant happily, and glanced
at his watch. At five minutes to two, expectation began to swell.
At two o'clock he couldn't hold back a smile--at any instant now her
face might irradiate the blank. He wondered which way she would come,
and if she would drive, or walk. He could see for some distance, both
to right and left, and his only regret was that he couldn't see both
ways at once. He kept turning his head, fearful that he might miss a
second's joy.
There was a leaping moment in which a figure suggested her as it hove
in sight. The girl proved offensively plain, and he was furious with
her as she passed. Somehow he did not rebound from the mistake--it was
the first fall in the temperature; the girl had killed his elation. He
watched now eagerly, but he repressed no smile.
She was late. Oh, of course she would come, but the fish would be
spoilt. Rather stupid of her! There was nothing more irritating than
to have a careful luncheon ruined because a woman took twenty minutes
to tie her veil. A melancholy church clock boomed the quarter. He
began to feel that he was looking a fool, traversing these twelve
paving-stones. He was annoyed with her--he should be at no pains to
conceal it!
Constantly hansoms rattled into view, with disappointing people in
them. There appeared to him discouragement in the gaze of the portier
now, and a pair of loafers outside the public-house at the corner were
taking interest in him.... He supposed she _would_ come? Into the
tension of his mood there entered the first sick qualm of doubt.
And the church clock boomed again. Hope was breathing its last in him.
Annoyance had melted into despair--he longed for her too intensely to
be reproachful if she came. He would rejoice over her, he would
unbutton her gloves, he would say how pretty her frock was, and that
the chef was delighted to have been given more time!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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