Conrad in Quest of His Youth: An Extravagance of TemperamentMerrick, Leonard
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Conrad in Quest of His Youth: An Extravagance of Temperament
Merrick, Leonard
Theater -- Great Britain -- Fiction
"Ostend is going down dreadfully, isn't it?" she remarked. "All the
ridiculous people who have just got titles have brought them here.
We're leaving on Thursday."
He sighed.
"Don't be foolish," she said, not too flippantly.
"Ah," said Conrad now, "what a long while ago that makes it seem!--the
boy was not told he was foolish."
"No one could be so unkind to him--and he wasn't."
"You'll make me jealous of that boy before you've done. Don't you
believe you could?"
"I don't know what you mean," she declared.
"You used to take _him_ seriously."
"Oh yes, we were capital friends."
"Did he deserve your friendship more than I?"
"You're absurd," she smiled. Her eyes were as blue as they had been in
the Solférino Garden. He looked into them, wishing he could feel the
despair that had been his that radiant morning.
"Is a wretched boy you only knew for a few weeks to be privileged above
a man who has thought of you for years?" Within an ace he had said
"for twenty years," but the blunder was nipped in time.
"You mean 'hours,'" she said. "We dined last night at eight
o'clock--it's just four now."
"You don't believe me--you think I'm making the most of a happy
accident? What if I gave you a conclusive, an overwhelming proof?"
"A proof of what?"
"Of what? That I am constancy itself! Supposing I told you that my
only reason for coming here was to see you again. What would you say
to that?"
"I hope I should answer quite politely," she murmured.
"Ah, you didn't doubt me once!" he exclaimed with grave reproach.
"You didn't tell such tarra-diddles once," she urged.
"I came here simply and solely to see you. Look at me. Will you give
me your hand?--I want to repeat it solemnly." She glanced at the door,
and yielded him her hand. It was very soft and agreeable to hold; he
continued with no undue haste: "Now, holding your hand, and with my
eyes meeting yours, I say that I came here to see you--for no one, and
nothing else--that I had no idea of coming to the place till I knew you
were here. That isn't all!" he detained her hand gently. "For an age
I have been trying to see you. I knew none of your friends--it was
awfully difficult for me. Could I call upon you and begin 'Once upon a
time?' Should I write to you? You might read my note in the wrong
mood. Oh, I tell you I racked my brains! That isn't all!"--her hand
had been retreating again. "The day before yesterday as I passed your
house--No. 62; you have window boxes, the flowers are calceolarias and
marguerites this season--the day before yesterday as I passed, I saw
the shutters were closed. I rang the bell. I deceived your servant, I
led him to imagine you--you would be glad to welcome me. I wormed your
address from him and threw myself onto the boat rejoicing. That isn't
all----"
She drew the hand free, nevertheless, and realising that it wasn't
coming back to him yet, he concluded, "But it is enough to show you
that you've been cruel."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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