Conrad in Quest of His Youth: An Extravagance of TemperamentMerrick, Leonard
General
Conrad in Quest of His Youth: An Extravagance of Temperament
Merrick, Leonard
Theater -- Great Britain -- Fiction
"I'm not going to take to it again," said Rosalind. "How can I?
Besides, I don't want so much to act--I've no ambition except to be
jolly--it's the life I ache for. I'm dull, dull, dull! I want to be
among the people I remember. My heart turns back to Dixie. I wouldn't
say 'thank you' to be with actors and actresses in London, in the
West-End; they're only imitations of the Lords and Ladies that bore me.
I want to be on the road with a Number II. crowd--yes, and a Number
III. crowd for preference. I want to arrive in a hole-and-corner town
on a Sunday night, and have supper in lodgings, and see stout in a jug
again, and call the landlady 'Ma.' Oh, how soul-stirring it would be
to call a landlady 'Ma!'"
"Lodgings? Look at your drawing-room, with Louis Cans furniture!" said
the duchess admonishingly. "You can't be serious?"
"Serious? I'm pathetic! Of course I should find I had been spoilt for
it--the pleasure wouldn't last; the stout would taste sour soon, and I
should find the landlady impudent, and the lodgings dirty; I daresay I
should wish myself back in St. James' Square before I had been away a
month. But I don't want to give up St. James' Square--I only want a
week-end sometimes as a tonic. That's all I want, just week-ends. If
I could be Rosalind Heath again from Saturday to Monday sometimes, I'd
be Lady Darlington all the rest of the year cheerfully enough."
This was the moment when her Idea was born. As the idea had
consequences, it is noteworthy that this was the moment. If she could
be Rosalind Heath again from Saturday to Monday! She had never debated
the possibility; but why not--why not even for a week? She couldn't
call herself "Rosalind Heath" again, because everybody in Theatre Land
knew that Rosalind Heath had married the Earl of Darlington, but who
among a lowly band of players would know her face? She had not been a
star. All she needed for the freak was a confidante. What had become
of Tattie Lascelles?
Lady Darlington blushed with self-reproach. That she should have to
question what had become of Tattie! She sat, after the duchess had
departed, remembering days when she and Tattie had been bosom friends.
They had shared hopes and lodgings; they had told each other their
peccadilloes, and even their salaries. And now she didn't know where
Tattie was? Could St. James' Square have made her heartless? How had
their correspondence died? ... Ah yes, in Tattie's last letter ages ago
she had asked for the sum of five pounds "just for a fortnight." But
how monstrous of Tattie to feel constrained because she hadn't sent it
back! Who had expected it?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account