Continental Monthly, Vol. 4, No 3, September 1863: Devoted to Literature and National PolicyVarious
History
Continental Monthly, Vol. 4, No 3, September 1863: Devoted to Literature and National Policy
Various
Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; United States -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Periodicals
They were to be married very soon. She told me this as we sat together
one evening in the brief wintry twilight. The first wild transports of a
newly found bliss had subsided into a calmer feeling of happiness in her
heart, as with me had passed the first 'bitter bitterness' of a
life-long grief, and I was enabled to receive her confidence with a show
of brotherly regard.
Christmas was the time set for the ceremony, and the first fall of snow
was even now lying on the ground.
She did not impart this information with the coy and hesitating timidity
usual to her; but thoughtfully, as she sat gazing out on the dull leaden
sky, watching the snowflakes falling through the dreary air. There
followed then a long, long pause, in which I had time to recover from
the effect her words had produced, and to frame and stammer forth such
congratulations as seemed required by the occasion. These she did not
answer, or even seem to comprehend, but roused from her revery by the
sound of my voice, she crossed the room and seated herself beside me,
and took my hand within her own.
'Brother,' she murmured, in a dreamy, half-abstracted manner, 'there has
been something solemn and strange in our intercourse, a mysterious
something, which my mind has vainly striven to grasp and comprehend. I
had thought the secret rested with you, and _through you_ would be
revealed to _me_; but the time for such revelation is passed; God has
willed it otherwise. Brother,' her voice sank to a solemn cadence; I
hear the low tones _now_, as I heard them _then:_ 'I am the better and
purer for your affection; you have led me, by what process I know not,
from the sensuous and the earthly, to the spiritual and the holy, and
there is no epithet applied to mortals, reverently endearing enough to
be coupled with your name. I would that my words were as eloquent as my
feelings, that you might know what immeasurable gratitude I vainly
strive to compress in the brief words: I thank you.'
She wept, and I laid my hand on the bowed head in mute and speechless
blessing.
'O Father!' I cried, in my voiceless anguish, 'Omnipotent and good! is
there nothing that can open her eyes even now, and give me the being
thine own holy laws have made my own?' No! no! The wild hope that
prompted the useless prayer died within my heart as I breathed it.
Jealous of the brief interest that could draw his betrothed's attention
from himself but for a moment, _he_, the boy lover, now entered, and
there were no longer gentle looks nor solemn words. He loved her best in
her moods of artless gayety, and she hurriedly brushed her tears away,
and hastened to be merry. Brief as had been the glimpse she had given me
of her inner nature, the knowledge proved my comforter in this my time
of trial, and I thanked God for it humbly and gratefully.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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