Detective and mystery stories; Disappeared persons -- Fiction; Smuggling -- Fiction; Women journalists -- Fiction
“Mr. Pell,” she said, “you need have no apprehensions. I do not wish to
marry you. I am very, very sorry if you have fallen in love with me....
And I cannot tell you how sorry I am for you.”
“For me?” he said, bristling.
“For you. You are the most pathetic man I have ever known.”
“Pathetic!”
She nodded. “I have no experience with life,” she said, gently, “but
certain knowledge is born in most of us. We know that life--real
life--consists only of suffering and happiness. All other things are
only incidents. All the good in life is derived either from sorrow or
joy. If you pass through life without experiencing either, you have not
lived. And, Mr. Pell, the greatest source of grief and of happiness is
love. I do not know how I know this, but you may take it as the truth.
I have never loved, but if I felt I never should love, I think I should
despair. I want to love some man, to give him my life, to make him my
life. I want him to be my world.”
“It is useless to argue,” said Evan Pell.
Carmel flamed.
“Argue!” she said. “Mr. Pell, let me tell you this, and as you said to
me a moment ago, it is final. If you and I were the sole survivors upon
the earth, I could do nothing but pity you. I am not sure I could do
that. You are abnormal, and the abnormal is repulsive.... You rather
fancy yourself. You are all ego. Please try to believe that you are of
no importance to anybody. You are negligible. Whether you live or die
can be of no importance to any living creature.... You are accustomed
to look down upon those who surround you. Don’t you see how people look
down upon you? You think yourself superior. That is absurd. You are
nothing but a dry running little machine, which can go out of order
and be thrown upon the junk pile at any time without causing the least
annoyance to anybody. Why, Mr. Pell, if you should die to-night, who
would care? What difference would it make? What do you contribute to
this world to make you of value to it?”
He had turned and was regarding her with grave interest. Manifestly her
words did not humiliate nor anger him, but they interested him as an
argument, a statement of a point of view.
“Go on, please,” he said. “Elucidate.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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