Dressmakers -- Fiction; Love stories; Young women -- Fiction
Men! That was what Sally thought. She had no deliberate mental process.
All her intuitions were summarised in the one word. Men! Toby.... Gaga!
Gravely, she looked round the restaurant. There were fat men and thin
men, dark and fair, ugly and good-looking and negligible. And as she
looked at them in turn, puzzled, Sally shrugged her shoulders. She came
back to Gaga. She gave him a false, alluring smile, secure in her power
to excite him still further; but her gravity was constant. She had
glimpsed for the first time a thing which she could not have known
before marriage. It was that one married for different reasons, but that
one had to endure the disadvantages accompanying any choice. She was not
afraid, but she was ruffled. She was ruffled by that exulting
possessiveness which shone from Gaga. Had she loved him, her joy might
have been comparable with his. If she had loved him and he had seemed
not to desire her, Sally's happiness would have been undermined. But in
her present coolness, the sense that Gaga was personally inescapable was
enough to depress her. He would be a nuisance.
She found it so when they were in the taxicab on their way to Victoria.
Her smallness made her unable to stem the torrent of his excited
caresses. For a time she submitted to them, still entirely serious. Then
a kind of petulant composure enabled her to chill him. Gaga laughed in a
sort of giggle, holding Sally's hands, and looking adoringly into her
eyes, and trying to kiss her. Instead of giving him kisses, instead of
wishing him to kiss her, Sally found herself aware already of a slight
repugnance. As she looked forward to spending days and nights with him
her heart sank. She was not shocked. She was not afraid. She knew that
there would come a time when, after boring her, Gaga's kisses would
become troublesome. And it was too late now to withdraw. She was too
deeply into her new scheme of life. But this feverish, insatiably
amorous, weak Gaga would get on her nerves. So this was what marriage
might be. Sally's jaw stiffened. Yes, if she allowed it to be so. But
Sally was Sally. Kisses should presently be favours. Gaga should learn
his place. A hardness showed. She pushed aside the clinging arms, and
sat erect.
"No," cried Sally, sharply, at his convulsive motion of return. "Not
now. We're.... People looking at us...."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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